Well, here I am, sitting comfortably at home, in a shiny neighbourhood on the edge of Canada. Sunday found me mourning. At first it took me by surprise, you see, I was supposed to go to my tiny island yesterday, but what with the weather and so on, it didn't work out. I'll go sometime in the next week, most likely, but for some reason, it really hurt me! I wanted to get away, to feel the peace of nature, and to enjoy the breeze on my face for a change, and when I had that temporarily snatched away, all my emotions poured forth.
It wasn't that I didn't want to see my family, or that I don't marvel daily in the blessings which God has bestowed upon me, but I had this incredible urge to be left alone with the quiet of the wind, and the gentle sounds of the ocean. Drop me in the middle of the prairies, and I would have been just as happy.
The other thing that really tore my heart out, was the fact that though it was a sunny Sunday afternoon, and I was longing for nature, I didn't want to go out. If I went to the most nature-ish place nearby, I would have had to go by bicycle to get there before dark, and I didn't want to. If I had gone, I would have been sort of on other people's property, and truly, in the kind of setting it would have been, I would have liked someone to share the beauty with. I have friends, mind you, wonderful friends: Mariah, Camille, Erica, Lisa, Emma, Tiffany...amazing, fantastic, incredible friends. There is one slight problem, however. I'd have to by an airplane ticket to see them. Yeah, that does put an awful damper on going out into nature with them!
So I cried about that too. I've never lived in the country, or on a little island away from all the bustle, and I know it's not heaven either, but I felt sorely missing something, and the burden was just too much to bear. My Mom was comforting me, and she told me I need to let go, and lay it all at the feet of Jesus. I tell you, that was one of the hardest things I have done in a long time. I was--as much as one can--enjoying my my misery, and didn't really want to give it up, but when I did--Oh! The joy and peace that came. I kept crying, but I could feel Jesus cradling His blubbering little girl in His arms, wiping my tears away, and giving me the comfort that only He can.
Truly, every time I've said this next phrase recently, it's just been a head decision, but when I felt that comfort, I knew that I really wanted to get to know this Jesus better. I never really saw it quite like this before, and it was amazing! I can read words written down that Jesus said! Goodness, I know it's old knowledge, but I was dumbfounded, and I fell asleep within minutes.
I just wanted to encourage you, that although some things can seem just like they've always been, when God gives you a little misery and trial, maybe He's trying to help you understand something that you've 'known' for a long time.
"2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you."
Let us live in Joy!