Saturday, January 3, 2009
I am me!
Today is the third day of 2009. Crazy. Who knows where the time went! In any case, I'm here, and I think a lot of really interesting things have happened this year. First off, this blog started, because of my big trip. That sure grew and stretched me in a lot of ways. But inside, a lot changed too. You might say I grew up. I think that for me, being 16 has been about figuring myself out. Maria showed me this quote:
"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." -Eleanor Roosevelt
It's true. You take the bumpy road to learning who we really are, and then you have to come to terms with it. You have to accept it. God made me me and I can't change that. Only God could change that, and He doesn't want to. He made me me because He liked me that way! Isn't that a bizarre and amazing thought? He made me stubborn and wild and pensive and emotional and artistic and excitable and two-sided because He wanted me that way. He wanted me to use those things in a good and wise manner.
Psalm 139: 14 I will give thanks to You [God], for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... 15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; 16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.
He had and still has, a plan for me. In fact, our Creator has a plan for all of us! As I have delved into the depths of my soul to try to figure out just who I am and who I was created to be, I have learned a great many lessons. Some from myself, some from watching others, and yet all of them have taught me about one thing: people. Each one of us was made with a plan, a purpose, a map, so-to-speak, and all we have to do is watch it. Sometimes life deviates off the map, and sometimes the map just doesn't have all the roads on it, but the fact is that there is a unique being inside every body, and nothing is going to change who that is, no matter what appears to happen on the outside. If someone is truly themselves, that is who they are always going to be. I've quoted it before, I'm quoting it again:
"There is a vitality, a life force, and energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost, the world will not have it." ~ Martha Graham
No matter how many times the world sees your face, it will always be you inside. No one else. It's a hard lesson. I always thought we could all change. And we all do, on the outside. We change our hair, and our dress, we change our attitudes and our beliefs, we change our friends and our family, but we never change ourselves. Oh no! That has been for all time, prepared long ago, and it still is, and always will be.
Isn't it amazing, then, that we balk against being ourselves, somehow afraid that the world won't like it? Isn't it sad that we sometimes are afraid of showing our relationship with The One who designed us to be the people we are? I once heard that each person, each soul, is sort of a manifestation of the thought of God. I looked it up, and there is a verse in the Bible that says much the same thing:
1 Corinthians 12:7
Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.
I think that makes a lot of sense, and again, makes it all the more important that we actually take the time to listen to what God says to us, what His thoughts really are.
Who am I? I'm working on it. Not quite sure yet. But I do know Someone who does know. ;)