Friday, March 20, 2009

Memories in the Now

Gracie and I almost 2 years ago, visiting here.

So, my friends. Here I am. I am suddenly feeling sentimental. Lots of big thoughts, big dreams, words, ideas, moments, flashes of the past and the future...peace. I am here to share some of it.

Life keeps changing. Just over 4 years ago, we moved. A year and a half before that, the best friend I've ever had moved. My heart was torn apart. Since then my life has changed. We moved, I met other people, but not too many. My musical life exploded from duty to life, I met teachers who became friends and mentors, I went to new places, I started singing, I explored the bounds of my personality. I've become me. But with all the beauties of the gentle arrival of adulthood, I miss my childhood.

I will never forget. That big maple tree; I'm certain I shared part of my soul with it. Each twist and turn of the branches. The best ways to get to the highest parts of the tree, the secrets, each knot, each lookout spot, the real ways to use the swings. I have so many memories there! My own imaginary worlds, alive and full of colour, log cabins in the woods, and scenes you'd see right out of Little House on the Prairie. Or just my every day imaginary world, which was so human, it almost doesn't seem imaginary when I remember it.

But I remember so many good times with friends in that tree! Racing to the tree to see who'd get the blue and white rope swing, always disappointed when the other person got it, because honestly, it was such good fun. Heavy discussions, and light ones, heated arguments and cheery laughter. Remember, Gracie, all the good times we had?

Grace and I met at her 6th birthday party. I apparently gave her a blue balloon, although I have no recollection of this. :-) We became friends, and used to spend an inordinate amount of time together, playing with our dolls, mostly. Our 'husbands' were always away on business trips of course, and we'd dress 'the girls' up and do all sorts of wild and crazy things. At one point I think I even remember Gracie having plastic surgery done on poor Rosie. I think Pearl was better behaved, however, even if her name perhaps isn't as doll-perfect as I'd like, thinking back on it. We used to drop 'the girls' off at 'daycare' in the living room, (which was more like 'time to throw the babies across the room!') and dressing up in our 'uniforms' and going to 'work' at the 'doctor's office' in the kitchen, which entailed placing two old phone on the table, answering them, ("Hello, this is Doctor Johnson's office, Patricia speaking, how may I help you?") and taking down appointments for the following week. ("Mr. Flob Flobson? Okay, is 2:30 on Friday okay? Good. Bye!"), plus putting our 'business cards' out. That's important. Then we'd pick up 'the girls' and dump them in my room.

Perhaps at that time we'd play the store game, and take turns being the clerk or the person who comes in. You never knew what you'd get if you were the clerk. It might be a cranky old man with a cane, or a little old lady who can't find her car keys, or just some young kid with no brains. Most ways, however, they all bought honey-garlic ham. I guess they weren't vegetarian. :)

Then we'd have some telepathic action happening and decide at the same time that we wanted to go swimming at the pool in town, and off we went. That happens to be the same pool where I got my WSI. Doesn't everything come full circle?

We had a lot of good times, Gracie and I did, along with all the other homeschool kids; Daniel, Caleb, Sarah, Ruby, and of course the clans of cousins, Hayley, Alison, and Adam, and any other kids who happened to come along. We were a crazy bunch of kids; noisy, rambuncious, and always bossing each other around, but somehow we managed to be a community. In the end, we always had fun. What is it about being kids that you always manage to get along? How come friends seemed so easy to make? How come it can be so hard for one person to continue having those friendships, and not for another?

And yet, sometimes it doesn't matter. I've grown so much, I've learned so much, and so have all of us from that community of kids back then. Most of us are almost adult, with just a couple short years left before the full responsibilities of adulthood begin to weigh upon our shoulders. We are all so different from what we were then, and from each other, and yet we are like a big Y with a whole bunch of arms; all woven together at the bottom and then slowly drifting away into our individuality. It's crazy, isn't it, how life and time can fly by so fast, each lifetime within evolving into this amazing conglomeration we eventually look back on and call 'our life'. It was another lifetime ago, and yet it's me, it's them, just as much now as it was then. It's just not now anymore.

So when I remember those initials I carved in my big tree, of all my friends, and when I remember my treehouse, and my swings, and staring at the big blue sky with the wonder that only a child can have, or when I remember all the beautiful things I shared with friends like Gracie, I can fully accept it as my life. I can cherish it, and share it. I may cry now, but in essence I only spill memories, not tears, so I can show you.

Remember with me?

Sheila Christine


Mariah said...

Aw, those were all such beautiful memories! I don't remember tons of things that I did when I was younger. I just remember me and my siblings always racing. We'd set up tracks anywhere and everywhere. :)

Lorraine said...

Neat Sheila - "spill memories" - that is a really wonderful way to put it! If you weren't my daughter already, I think I'd adopt you!! :-)


Idzie said...

Those are beautiful memories. :-) This post made me feel slightly wistful, but happy at the same time...

Peace and hugs,

beautifulgraceblog said...

I remember the days of my childhood, though I never really had many children to play with, usually just Marta and I, and sometimes a third girl or a few cousins.

You are so visually eloquent.