Sunday, October 25, 2009


So here I am.  Life is good right now, but I'm going through a few struggles, especially in the workplace, and it isn't always easy.  I'm finding more and more that I must rely on God for my strength, and to find my peace in Him.  I cannot do it alone.  I also find myself trying to do it alone.  And honestly, I sometimes don't know why, because it's so much harder!  I suppose it is pride.  Nasty thing, that.

As I write this I want you, the reader, to know, that I'm not writing this with the specific intent to give you some great insite or anything like that.  I'm just thinking and praying as I go here.  It's almost more for me, really.  It's good to know that someone is reading my thoughts.  Makes me think through them more.

In any case, I'm finding myself in this position of dependance.  Honestly?  It's kind of hard!  The thing is that the more I learn that dependance upon Christ, the easier, and the better, it gets.  He wants to work through me.  Strange concept, isn't it?

I don't know why my heart and mind connect these two topics up, but perhaps we'll find the answer:  I keep thinking about true love between a man and woman under the bonds of Christ.  That excites me, because I have never experienced that, or, for that matter, really witnessed it blossoming first hand.  I've just read all the books.  I'm looking forward to that, but I'm honestly rather confused as to how God plans to bring it about for me.  I'm not looking yet, and I know I won't be ready for marriage for some time, but I do think about these things, especially considering the fact that I can add "Have an ex-boyfriend" to my list of current things in my life.

I suppose that does lead us back to dependency on Christ.  I must depend on Him for that (hopefully) eventual love I will find; that it will be the right man, at the right time, in the right place, under Christ, and with the blessing of my family.  I certainly can't expect to pick the right guy out myself!

Dependance.  The word gives the image of a little baby or a frail elderly person, doesn't it?  But are either any less people than you or I?  Of course not!  And if they depended on you, would you think any less of them?  No!  And, by His grace and mercy bestowed upon us at the cross, neither does our loving heavenly Father.

Isaiah 50:10

Who is among you that fears the LORD,That obeys the voice of His servant,That walks in darkness and has no light?Let him trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.

In Love,

1 comment:

Lorraine said...

Wow, great thoughts Sheila. Dependency is such a hard concept for the world to understand - but as you know, real dependency on Christ brings utter freedom! Here is a link to a sermon I love, by John Piper, about dependency, and memorizing the Word - which you referenced in your last FB post - hiding it in your heart... Awesome stuff - stay close to the Master.