And so, here I am again, begining this blog with a conjunction, just to be out of the box. :-) This is Sheila Christine. It's really me, flesh and blood, same hair, same face, same fingers typing this blog post, the girl that wrote for a year and a bit on Always Exploring, and before that for who knows how long on An Instrument in Christ's Hands. Yep, it's Sheila, but I'm a renewed Sheila! I am so excited to embark once again on this amazing journey of faith!
A little background on the story... I have grown up in a wonderful, loving, supportive, caring Christian home. I am an only child, and have been homeschooled, but I have had many friends along the way. When I was five years old, I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour, and I'm so glad I did! He's never let me go, even during the darkest moments. I grew in Christ for many years, and desired to serve him better and better each day. As the end of the year in which I called myself fifteen years old came around, my faith seemed dry, and my relationship with Jesus very shallow. I began exploring. This lead me down many unfortunate rabbit trails. I didn't have many friends at the time, and the people who did influence my life, other than my parents, were not followers of the Saviour. I was swayed. I delved into all sorts of 'spirituality', and for a year and a half I drifted in the wilderness.
Looking back on it now, the Holy Spirit was constantly whispering in my ear, loving, gentle, and persistant. I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen. And then, over the past six months or so, it became quietly obvious to me that I wanted to listen, but I had come to the point where I almost didn't know how. I wanted to follow the Lord better, but I was afraid to go back, and honestly, my pride got the better of me.
I have had many good times over the past year and a half, but I've also spent far too long in the wilderness; technically in Christ, but not following Him or letting him work through me. Finally, it came to the point where I came to the end of myself. I realized I could no longer attempt to be something special apart from Christ. I knew I had to turn my life around. I cried. I wept. And then I did something very hard. I cut myself off from all that had swept me away into the ever-rushing current of worldliness. I must learn, once again, with God's help, to swim upstream, and to let Him work through me, for the better. I am now never alone. In fact, I never was, but I tried to be.
Those of you who know me, know that I am a musician. I sing, I play flute, and I am a pianist, and when I play the piano, I am creating music, letting it flow from the instrument, which on its own could not make a sound at all. That is the picture of Christ working through me. I am an Instrument, in His hands!