Monday, November 9, 2009
Refreshed, Renewed, Revived!
Piano for a bit, which was lovely, and then my Mum and I listened to one of my Bible school class lectures and took notes and compared notes, and it was so good. Honestly, I'm really, really looking forward to going in January, it will be so good for me! He was talking about what sanctification is, versus justification and mercy and so on. God is so good, and we are so blessed. Wow. It was one of those moments where I truly realized once again that I am so, so, so unworthy of this, and honestly, while yes, God is merciful sometimes, He isn't saving me out of all my sin and grief because he feels sorry for me, or even because he is full of mercy. God has paid for my sins in full through justification, by His grace, into His righteousness. He paid the price. The more wrong I do, the more He pays. It's amazing. Then I must ask the monumental, yet seemingly overused and slightly cheesy question: Why Lord? Why do you care about me? Am I not worthless?
He looks down and smiles, and I feel renewed, and know that all of the muck I've piled up in the past is gone. Yes He cares that I have done wrong. He doesn't approve of any of it. He doesn't pretend and let it blow away, He has justified me, payed the price, died so I don't have to. What a thought! I know we all know it, but think! GOD died!!! For me!!!
It's beyond my understanding, but wow, we are so blessed.
This afternoon I drove off to teach two sweet sisters piano and flute, and as I drove down their rural road, seeing it stretch out in the dusk before me, I couldn't help but think of life. Cheesy and overused, again, I know, but I feel like I'm seeing life for the first time lately, and all of the things which are the most cliche seem the most real to me, because often those are the most true. It was like a contradiction, and in that very fact, so very much like life everyday. Something ending, something beginning, and something stretching before me, continuing on until I can no longer see it. What a picture!
God is good, I am priviledged to teach wonderful students, and to be preparing for Bible School and playing piano and enjoying it, finally, with so much of my past behind me. The troubles I do have fade in comparison. Lord, help me to trust in you in everything!