Thursday, November 17, 2011

Birth... Mesmerizing Me.

Birth.  It's mesmerizing.  Every time I learn something new I am in awe... again.  I never tire of reading birth stories, of hearing from midwives and doulas, of studying statistics on interventions and ways to avoid them.  Hearing of other ways to bring birth back to its most beautiful, fullfilling, natural, joyous, ecstasy-filled state sends my heart into bubbling leaps and my belly--looking forward to the day it too shall hold a child--into soft and quiet contractions.

It's a passion.  I can't get away from it.  No matter what I do it always comes back to babies, to mothers, to families, and like a spiral, with nowhere else to go, to that moment of emergence, that moment of birth.  Perhaps, too, the understanding of my own birth as a new creation in Christ has helped me to see the beauty of it all.

Eagerly I desire to share in it, to attend births, to help mothers, to ease pain, to comfort fathers, to heal babies, to mend brokenness of heart and mind and body, both with physical and spiritual remedies.  Jesus is the heart healer; with broken hearts and souls I can only point to Him.  Only?  Only! I can only do the one thing that actually helps: point them to Jesus.  Oh how my own soul leaps at the possibility.

Brokenness of mind?  I can help with that.  The things I have learned show me how.  I know what to say, how to counsel, I know the statistics and the natural flow of the life of being born.  Why can I?  Because I was given a passion.  I was given a faith in the process.  I was given knowledge.

Oh, but the brokenness of body...  I know in my head how to help, but I want to know more.  I don't want to learn from this system, though, which squelches all passion, which enforces rigidity, charts, graphs, and numbers.  There is a place for that, but I do not intend to be a doctor.  I shall let the doctors be doctors.  Me?  I only desire to be whatever one is who fulfills all these duties, who meets all these desires.

Babies.  I'm to see another born very soon, and as I think about it, my heart dances with radiant exuberance.  The long night is expected, the boredom will quite likely set in, but the relief of her pain and the joy at the end is what I yearn for.

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.  -John 16:21

Oh, the possibilities that await me.  There is so much to think on.
Dreaming of Mamas and babies,
Sheila

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