Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Life Clutter

Business and clutter.  Wrapping paper, tea, cookies.  Pilgrim's Progress.  Little children, crafts, drinking tea.  Finding new ways to drink and eat egg nog.  Talking to my Mama.  Soaking in the warmth and goodness of the Word of God.  Good talks with friends.  Changes that don't seem real yet.  Trusting.  Waiting.  Listening.

That seems to be how I'm experiencing life in the past little while.  It's been disjointed, crazy, and good.  In one way I feel closer to the Lord than I have in quite some time, and in other ways that just shows me how much my relationship with Jesus is lacking.  In some ways I feel like I am constantly moving ahead, and in other ways I feel stagnant, afraid, unsure.  My planning is simply dreaming, I have no idea what will really happen.  Once again, I am realizing the instability of anything I do.  If at any moment the Lord wants to change my direction, He could totally pull the rug out from under me.  He's done that a few times, too!

Isn't it like us, as humans, to think that our lives are very much more about ourselves than they really are?  Even unbelievers--though they do not yet know it--live lives that revolve around the Creator God, simply by their being created by Him.  I'm such a little pig sometimes, realy, living my life and planning according to whatever I feel in the moment.  I make big decisions on a whim, sometimes (okay, quite often), and then go into a tizzy trying to choose between leftover lasagne and last night's curry.

Could it be that my priorities are wrong?  Am I alone?  Maybe I overthink and underthink all at the same time.  I know one thing, though: I definitelly under pray.

Oh Lord, re-teach me your ways.  May my life be a constant glorification of your precious Name.  May my decisions be according to your will.  Please direct my heart and the attitudes of my mind to honour you, so that in the big and the small, I am willing to work hard for you, and to dedicate my all to your service.  I don't want to be a quitter, unless you want me to quit.  I don't want to be a background player unless you want me to be.  And I don't even want to be a leader unless you want me to be.  Please place me.  Please guide my steps.  Please, I beg you, Holy Spirit, pour out wisdom into my heart.  Help me to push aside the clutter of my self-centred heart, and to fix my spiritual eyes on You.  I need you, Jesus.


PS. I highly recommend this post, and not just for the singles or the ladies, this one's for everybody!  :)

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