Saturday, April 13, 2013
Unfathomable, Beautiful, Saviour Joy
I climbed the stairs to my dorm room and turned down the hall, a little dingy compared to the bright sunshine outside. My bag slipped from my shoulder to the floor and I stood with my head in my hands, emotions overwhelming me, and I knew I needed to go back outside.
I wasn't sad though, nor worried, nor fearful, it simply was the depth of joy and brimming over of emotion that could only take its expression in the context of God's great creation. Today was amazing, beautiful, wonderful, but really, today God simply showed me all that He has done this semester--this year! It was a day of serving and being filled.
As I wandered out the doors trailing memories and joys with every footstep, I found myself caught up in a trail of thankfulness and praise to my Jesus. The pale greens, the tiny blossoms, the sounds of the birds in the trees, all capturing my attention. I found myself mentally retracing the steps of this year, the work God has done, the changes He has made in me, and the maturing and yet... deep within me I am still the me that He created from the start. He has let me keep my wonder.
I came to a big, glorious tree and pulled off my sandals and flung down my things, happy for the feeling of life in that tree, and as I spoke to Jesus, I began to weep. Down my face tumbled tears of utter joy--He is so faithful! Yes today was grand, and pointed to the absolute hardest times in my life and said "There! There you learned grace! There you learned joy! There you learned rest! There you learned dependence. There I taught you." and I realize it's the voice of the Lord speaking to my heart.
To know that He has given me victory and purity and triumph and rest in the midst of the storms--that is success in His eyes! He graces us with opportunities: Opportunities to suffer, opportunities to serve, opportunities to fall back on His faithfulness, opportunities to observe His best in the relationships of others, opportunities to learn and blossom.
So why today? Why so much? (and so much more within my heart that would fill ten thousand books!)
Simply because God chose today. And I can rest in the peace that comes with knowing that His way is best. Psalm 139:5-6 say
That is exactly how I feel right now. He has perfectly planned out my days in His infinite-ness and I am so so so very privileged to have a tiny glimpse of His greatness. To wonder in all the He is and all that He does and has done is truly a marvel indeed.
Praise Jesus! Thank you Father!