An Instrument in Christ's Hands

Blustery Oceans and Open Fields

2012-02-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

I'm in a thinky, dreamy mood. Maybe it's because I'm unwinding from yet another practice ACT. Maybe it's because I'm listening to beautiful music. I don' t know, but I like it. It's that little space between all the things I have to do and the joy that comes in doing them. It's the hectic pace of life right before heading to work full time soon, the quietness of a house with just me in it. It's the foggy morning that melted into a still day, the as-of-yet unmade brownies.

A funny space, don't you think? It's the moment of exhilarating memories of blustery oceans and torrential rain, remembered in an open field under a starry sky. It's trying to figure out what to do next when you have a giant to-do list. It's scouring the internet for the perfect brownie recipe, but finding your heart on the stars without thinking.

Did you leave me yet? Or did you find my heart in this odd little moment? Has my cluttered mix of abstract and concrete made you drift away from this spot? Or are you a little like me?

Ah well, the unwashed clothes and un-skipped-on streets are calling my name once again. Thus, I must leave you to ponder your reality and imagination. Enjoy. :-)

Sheila

Image via smittenkitchen.com

Joy and Repentance

2012-01-29T18:30:00.000-08:00

I feel strange and happy. It's a joy that is complete, albeit uncertain of all that is to come. I feel refreshed, awake, yearning for more of the Lord. I've been singing a lot. I can't help it. It seems that returning to singing is a natural outpouring of the thankfulness and joy in my heart, and as I feel the rush of my voice rising in great echoing strength, my mind and heart surge with the knowledge of what my life has been.

1992. Born.
1997. My life belongs to Jesus.
1999. Washed in the presence of witnesses.
2009. I'm still His!

Aren't those the most important? But there is so much more. In the past I've only dwelt on sin from the point of view of its consequences. Certainly I have repented, but my remorse has never dwelt with me in the deep, abiding way which causes me to weep and cry out for mercy because I realize the immensity of my rebellion against the Lord. Just the other day I remembered a specific and very defiant "No" I gave when I was only 7. 1999. I'd apologized for it long ago, but just two days ago I realized the immensity of that defiant heart of mine. The innocence of my childhood suddenly faded away. I was born a human being with a fleshly, rebellious nature.

*insert sobs*

So in my greatest hour of remorse I wept, not over those obvious sins which are noticed and remembered, but over this one little sin of my 7-year-old self, because it is so indicative of my entire self, from day one until today.

Yet as I begged for mercy, the Spirit of God reminded me that He had already given it to me, 2,012 (or so) years ago. Oh the joy in my soul!

With salty but dry cheeks I opened my Bible and turned to Acts. As my reading list directed me, I headed to the 22nd chapter, and began to read. After speaking of the wonders God was doing, and the salvation found in Christ, Paul is arrested and beaten. Finally he is given opportunity to speak, and he speaks of his Damascas road experience. I'd read it so many times before, but the Lord brought it to life for me. My dry cheeks didn't stay so very long. First Paul brings forth the atrocities he previously committed against the church, and then he relates this startling conversation with the Lord on that famed road.

‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?’
'Who are You, Lord?’
‘I am Jesus the Nazarene, whom you are persecuting.’
‘What shall I do, Lord?’
‘Get up and go on into Damascus, and there you will be told of all that has been appointed for you to do.’ (22:6-11)

So I took his words to heart, turned my face heavenward, and repeated: "What shall I do, Lord?" I kept reading. I may not ever have been in Jerusalem, and I may never be in Rome, (I have been, but that's not the point), but this jumped out at me:

“Take courage; for as you have solemnly witnessed to My cause at Jerusalem, so you must witness at Rome also.” (23:11)

Take courage. Take courage.

Be at peace. Move forward. Witness of Me. Listen to Me.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? ... I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Rom 8:35-39)

Are these words not echoed throughout scripture? Paul was a sinner, like me. God grabbed hold of him, like me. Christ spoke to him, like me. And nothing could separate him from Christ. Like me.

Like you. Do you know Him?

Oh, I want to hug you and tell you how wonderful He is!!!
Sheila

I Giggle, and Dance, and Laugh

2012-01-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness gracious, I'm ridiculous. Just came to that conclusion, actually. Seems natural enough! For all my smiling and hand-shaking and door-opening and all, I still manage to find myself putting every single sentence used in the kitchen after 7pm to some odd tune, perhaps something from before my time that I've heard on the radio in a store, perhaps an old hymn, or *gasp* something I just made up. Oh boy. What now?

Then comes the unconscious laughter and arms around my Mama's neck. Hugs are important, no matter your age. Then she giggles at me and we carry on with our nonsensical song. Our laughter climaxes in a ridiculous dance, finally landing us on the floor by the counter, where we pick up our assorted body parts and giggle over the state of our messy hair. Slight propriety ensues as we fix ourselves some tea. Oh yes, that's all my fault, right there, but I love it.

Sometimes I find myself oddly making faces in the mirror, shocked to discover a parent over my shoulder. Pausing with my nose wrinkled, one eyebrow up, and one down, I blush mildly, only to look up and see some other crazy face close beside mine in the glass.

And words. Oh my. Our family has a lot of words for things. Strange names and, again, nonsensical mumblings that seem perfectly normal to us.

Perhaps my strangeness and the hilarity that is so commonplace in my family has set me apart. You could take that a few ways. On one hand it could be a wonderful thing not to be like everyone else, but I admit, sometimes the strangeness I have obtained does land me with with odd glances while I am out and about. No matter.

There really is no good conclusion to a post such as this, is there? I guess I'm just silly, and felt like sharing some goofiness. :-D

Returning to my old-time sign-off:

Hugs to my huggable friends and a hearty handshake to the rest of you,
Sheila

Snowflakes on my Eyelashes

2012-01-20T23:16:00.000-08:00

Here I am. I have decided to pour out my heart, for once, not with pen on paper, as I so often do, but in real typed words, as quickly as my fingers can put them down from the thoughts in my mind. Those thoughts are many, and I find myself rather at a loss for words, but must, somehow, reach within my mind and pull out those feelings, fears, dreams, hopes, desires, and aspirations. I must, without stopping to defend my position, without feeling I need stop to find the appropriate verse, simply spill forth all that I have inside. There cannot be anything holding me back this time.

It is strange to think of the snowfall, my secret laughter, my silent tears, my pent-up frustrations, my grand excitements, and my great longings, realizing that somehow they all were simply a part of the week I have just been through. Though I find myself musing over my late-night snack of cold roast beef, and the possibility of it combining with my previously-consumed brownies and ice cream to produce a pound or two of beautiful, frightening, estrogen-producing adipose tissue, I realize it is actually only a very shallow layer of earthly self-consciousness that keeps me from delving into the rather unwieldly rushings and happenings of my soul.

On the one hand, I am a soul at rest. As I slipped down the slopes on two very precarious lengths of plastic bound tightly to my feet this past Monday, I could not help but sing over and over:

Jesus, I am resting, resting,
In the joy of what Thou art.
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart

Thou hadst bidst me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy glory fills my soul,
But by Thy transforming power,
Thou hast made me whole!

I couldn't help it. Perhaps those around me thought me mad, but it wasn't even trying to convince myself to rest, I just was resting. Maybe it was my secret, laughing heart that made me so glad. Perhaps it was the snow-dusted trees and the misty mountain-scapes around and before me, speaking so loud of their Creator. It could be partly the new horizons for my life or the leaving of the past behind. Of course, the feeling of the wind in my face and the sliding and whizzing and having such a good time with old and new friends may have added to my joy, but I felt so very restful--and so very cold! Truly, though, while I have been ponderous and in some ways have even felt a tumult in my soul, the prevailing attitude of my heart has been rest: rest in Jesus.

Cliche, I know. But so true! I must admit that the rainy weather forecast for the weekend also makes my heart leap, because rain does not mean ice. And I'm lonely for the beauty of a soggy forest by our wild island highway. Oh yes, and the sweet fellowship at church. Could it be, that my joy is in hearing the Word of God and being exhorted in His ways? Could it be, that I have been lonely for the joy of meeting with others who love my Saviour too? How I had forgotten that quiet evenings with a believing friend or two cannot replace the quiet exuberance of a regularly meeting crowd, however small, that comes together to worship the Lord and to hear of His ordinances. The joy is inexplicable.

My mind is in a tizzy. It seems my attention span is sadly short, and I had to stop to look at pictures from a friend of a friend on facebook, someone I don't even know. Some pictures were of a university graduation, and they almost make my heart beat faster. Can I do it? Am I really going? Is this really happening? Am I too late? What should I do? While the questions rage, the happy longing continues; I cannot deny it! I long to finish a race, to break the ribbon, to push forward into new and grand vistas. Honestly! And pictures, on this unknown facebook-er's page, of smiles, and hikes, and pure love, and other mile-high joys.

I know life is not full of unending flowers and pretty things, but isn't it nice to know that God loves those pretty things? Isn't it marvelous to know that He laughs to see the funny scurrying of the squirrels too? Are you not overjoyed that God made romance? Oh yes, I know God is serious, that He pours out righteous wrath upon sin and grieves over lost sheep, but He made...

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs...

And in this moment I think I shall go to sleep resting there. Resting in His promise of a perfect plan and will. Resting knowing that though dogs will bite and bees will sting, I can still rest. And I can still eat roast beef and chocolates at midnight. :-)

Singing always,
Sheila

St. Patrick's Breastplate

2012-01-16T17:49:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, at church, in class, we were learning about St. Patrick (the true man and missionary), and were given this amazing poem/lyrics/thing that is attributed to him. His life was a testimony, but I found this particular passage amazingly touching and convicting. Pay special attention to the second last paragraph. Wow. Is Christ in the mind and heart of those who see me or think of me? Is that the life tesimony and example I am giving? If not, what is my life all about? Is it truly for Christ? I encourage you to read this incredible piece.

For me, there are a number of things that are incredibly personal, and I hope it will be of encouragement to you as well.

Hugs,
Sheila

St. Patrick's Breastplate

I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through a belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness
Of the Creator of Creation.

I arise today
Through the strength of Christ's birth with his baptism,
Through the strength of his crucifixion with his burial,
Through the strength of his resurrection with his ascension,
Through the strength of his descent for the judgment of Doom.

I arise today
Through the strength of the love of Cherubim,
In obedience of angels,
In the service of archangels,
In hope of ressurection to meet with reward,
In prayers of the patriarchs,
In predictions of prophets,
In preaching of apostles,
In faith of confessors,
In innocence of holy virgins,
In deeds of righteousmen.

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendour of fire,
Speed of lightening.
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to spead for me,
Gods hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill.
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.

I summon today all these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel merciless power that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul.

Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.

Chrsit with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me,Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.

A Crazy Fool

2012-01-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

And so it is that once again I am sitting down, wanting to write a blog post, but not being exactly sure where I should go with it. There is a lot happening inside my head, but it seems that I'm never sure exactly what to say. Perhaps I should reflect on the past year.

Things just don't seem to go the way we expect them to, do they? No matter what I think I'm going to be doing, or what I think something will be like, it's virtually always different, somehow. My mind is going full tilt, trying to absorb all the information I can, trying to learn, to grow, to change so that I can better serve my Lord. I feel so inadequate.

Yet I feel so at peace, having made yet another crazy decision, and I feel like I never even thought about it now, and yet it took weeks (months?) of prayer, anguish, and weeping. So I'm here for the next 7 months. Call me crazy. Oh well.

What God wills for the fall... well, I believe I know what it is. I believe I'm following His leading, but I'm open to that door slamming too. Crazier? But wait, isn't that what belonging to Jesus is all about?

For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. -1 Cor. 1:18

Foolishness! So in one way, I really am a fool! And yet only in the eyes of the world, for "The fool has said in his heart 'There is no God'" (Ps. 14:1a), and I know my Lord personally! So it is that I find my identity, truly, in Jesus. If I appear as a fool to the world around me, so be it. Let craziness abound. Yet let me not appear to the Lord a fool, but to Him let me be humble and pure.

Once again I must be weird, strange, unlovable by the world's standards. If in the body I find love, so be it, and thank You Lord. Yet let that be a priviledge and not a right. My only right is eternal life in Christ.

WOOHOO!!! :-D

Sheila

Christmas!

2011-12-25T08:02:00.000-08:00

I really want to write a Christmas post... but in the mean time:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
-Isaiah 9:6

-Sheila

Life Clutter

2011-12-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

Business and clutter. Wrapping paper, tea, cookies. Pilgrim's Progress. Little children, crafts, drinking tea. Finding new ways to drink and eat egg nog. Talking to my Mama. Soaking in the warmth and goodness of the Word of God. Good talks with friends. Changes that don't seem real yet. Trusting. Waiting. Listening.

That seems to be how I'm experiencing life in the past little while. It's been disjointed, crazy, and good. In one way I feel closer to the Lord than I have in quite some time, and in other ways that just shows me how much my relationship with Jesus is lacking. In some ways I feel like I am constantly moving ahead, and in other ways I feel stagnant, afraid, unsure. My planning is simply dreaming, I have no idea what will really happen. Once again, I am realizing the instability of anything I do. If at any moment the Lord wants to change my direction, He could totally pull the rug out from under me. He's done that a few times, too!

Isn't it like us, as humans, to think that our lives are very much more about ourselves than they really are? Even unbelievers--though they do not yet know it--live lives that revolve around the Creator God, simply by their being created by Him. I'm such a little pig sometimes, realy, living my life and planning according to whatever I feel in the moment. I make big decisions on a whim, sometimes (okay, quite often), and then go into a tizzy trying to choose between leftover lasagne and last night's curry.

Could it be that my priorities are wrong? Am I alone? Maybe I overthink and underthink all at the same time. I know one thing, though: I definitelly under pray.

Oh Lord, re-teach me your ways. May my life be a constant glorification of your precious Name. May my decisions be according to your will. Please direct my heart and the attitudes of my mind to honour you, so that in the big and the small, I am willing to work hard for you, and to dedicate my all to your service. I don't want to be a quitter, unless you want me to quit. I don't want to be a background player unless you want me to be. And I don't even want to be a leader unless you want me to be. Please place me. Please guide my steps. Please, I beg you, Holy Spirit, pour out wisdom into my heart. Help me to push aside the clutter of my self-centred heart, and to fix my spiritual eyes on You. I need you, Jesus.

Sheila

PS. I highly recommend this post, and not just for the singles or the ladies, this one's for everybody! :)

I Have a Nose

2011-12-14T16:21:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to help that I have a nose. Weird, isn't it? I mean, seriously, I have a nose, and there's nothing I can do about it! I suppose I could cut it off, but there would still be that odd fact that I'm supposed to have a nose. A nose! Think of it! Really, it's quite an ugly little thing, all knobby, this little protuberance sticking out from my face with two gaping holes right in the front of it. Tickly little hairs grow inside it, and dribbly stuff trickles out of it when I cry.

What is that all about?

Well, I guess I'm just pondering the inevitability of life, of existence, and of God's placing me here on this earth, in this time, for His purpose. I had no say in the matter of my birth. I couldn't have made it one day earlier or later if I'd wanted to. I couldn't have chosen not to be born. I just exist because God chose to put me here. Kind of like my nose.

Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand.Proverbs 19: 21

Yet I'm thankful I exist, and when I rest in God's purposefulness in everything He does, I can see that there is purpose in my life, that God did have a reason when He made me. No matter how useless I feel, if I am seeking the Lord, He can truly use me as His instrument.

But for this very purpose have I let you live, that I might show you My power, and that My name may be declared throughout all the earth.Exodus 9: 16

He let me (and my nose!) live so He might show us His power. Wow.

Sheila

Christmas Baking Begins! All in 2 weeks work...

2011-12-06T20:14:00.001-08:00

So last week we decided to do the impossible and sell baking at a craft fair. We didn't earn a ton, but the process was fun! Here are the fruits of some of our labours...

And these... these are peppermint shortbread snowballs, with cream chees peppermint filling. Be still my soul. Mmm.

And today is Dec. 6! Sammichlaus Tag! (Saint Nicholas Day) Which means, of course, Grittibaenz and hot chocolate for dinner. And the this year's models are much more perfect than last years extra-salty version. Oops!

So that's the extent of it all so far: Caramel corn, peppermint snowballs, and Grittibänz. With more to come. :-D

Praying that you will be emboldened even more this Christmas, to share and be that light of Christ Jesus.

Matthew 4:16
“ THE PEOPLE WHO WERE SITTING IN DARKNESS SAW A GREAT LIGHT, AND THOSE WHO WERE SITTING IN THE LAND AND SHADOW OF DEATH, UPON THEM A LIGHT DAWNED.”

In Him,
Sheila

Do Not Worry; a list and a thought

2011-11-30T00:37:00.001-08:00

Things I have to do tomorrow... or soon. Or before work starts on the 17th, or before I leave at the end of January.

- Make a little address book
- Put up the Christmas lights
- WORK ON GERMAN
- Work on my new doula course
- Finish gifties
- Write a letter to my friend
- Write 2 emails back
- Bake cookies
- Tie ribbons on paper flowers for craft fair
- Do all the other stuff that needs doing.

It's 12:39am. It's one of those nights. Those nights where all the things I need to do keep going around and around in my head until each one is broken apart into so many pieces that I have about 5,000 things that need doing. NOW.

And then I realize I'm hungry, except I already ate two suppers. So I get up and I have a snack, and then wonder whether I should have, and whether I should have read so late and if that's why I'm still awake, or not...

But you know, I was praying about it, and I realized it's really wrong! All this jumble in my head is me trying to be in control of my life. Me trying to control what needs doing. Me trying to control what gets done. Me trying to sort out how to do it all. Me trying to sort out what's important. Me trying to justify my food intake and figure it all out based on some unknown and invisible standard.

Bah. If that's not an example of not resting in the will of God, I don't know what is. So why am I baring my sin to you, oh unfriendly internet world? Because I guess I'm human too, and just wanted to share this brilliant thought that Jesus gave me (which, I might add, is not so original as I thought when I first thought it).

If I give this all to Jesus, He will sort out what's important, sift out the extraneous material, and give back to me the things He wants me to do tomorrow. And I don't need to worry about it right now.

So do not worry... But seek first [God's] kingdom and his righteousness... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matt. 6:31a, 33a, 34

Ha. There you have it. Sleep? You can come whenever you like now. I'm seeking His kingdom above all else. :-)

Blessings,
Sheila

ETA: I got a call at 7am this morning... I had a birth to attend! God has a good sense of humour. ;-)

Another Experience

2011-11-18T16:56:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning in a different house. The roads had gotten icy, so I'd stayed over at a friend's, and as I groggily pulled myself from the squishiness of the futon, I rolled over and peered out the crack of window visible between the curtain and the wall. A tiny layer of snow had formed! I was full of wonder, as I watched the tiny flakes flit here and there, and land on the railing of the balcony, and form a downy covering on the big evergreens.

And the ocean. It is marvelous to watch the white powder drifting down on the water, landing, and disappearing into nothing. It is as though the ocean has no comprehension of snow, no understanding of ice, it simply goes on existing as it always does, up a degree, down a degree, always salty.

As I drove away from that house, snuggly warm in my big, old hoodie, I looked in awe at the perfect white upon the trees, just barely there, but enough to change the landscape. It was just so different, yet the roads were simply wet. Singing, I traveled the roads, thanking my Maker for this divine gift of goodness and beauty that He so gladly had given to me.

I silently longed for my camera, but what would it be to you except a tree with some snow? No, the delight is in the experience, still, and fresh, and wonderful.

Sheila

Birth... Mesmerizing Me.

2011-11-17T13:30:00.000-08:00

Birth. It's mesmerizing. Every time I learn something new I am in awe... again. I never tire of reading birth stories, of hearing from midwives and doulas, of studying statistics on interventions and ways to avoid them. Hearing of other ways to bring birth back to its most beautiful, fullfilling, natural, joyous, ecstasy-filled state sends my heart into bubbling leaps and my belly--looking forward to the day it too shall hold a child--into soft and quiet contractions.

It's a passion. I can't get away from it. No matter what I do it always comes back to babies, to mothers, to families, and like a spiral, with nowhere else to go, to that moment of emergence, that moment of birth. Perhaps, too, the understanding of my own birth as a new creation in Christ has helped me to see the beauty of it all.

Eagerly I desire to share in it, to attend births, to help mothers, to ease pain, to comfort fathers, to heal babies, to mend brokenness of heart and mind and body, both with physical and spiritual remedies. Jesus is the heart healer; with broken hearts and souls I can only point to Him. Only? Only! I can only do the one thing that actually helps: point them to Jesus. Oh how my own soul leaps at the possibility.

Brokenness of mind? I can help with that. The things I have learned show me how. I know what to say, how to counsel, I know the statistics and the natural flow of the life of being born. Why can I? Because I was given a passion. I was given a faith in the process. I was given knowledge.

Oh, but the brokenness of body... I know in my head how to help, but I want to know more. I don't want to learn from this system, though, which squelches all passion, which enforces rigidity, charts, graphs, and numbers. There is a place for that, but I do not intend to be a doctor. I shall let the doctors be doctors. Me? I only desire to be whatever one is who fulfills all these duties, who meets all these desires.

Babies. I'm to see another born very soon, and as I think about it, my heart dances with radiant exuberance. The long night is expected, the boredom will quite likely set in, but the relief of her pain and the joy at the end is what I yearn for.

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. -John 16:21

Oh, the possibilities that await me. There is so much to think on.

Dreaming of Mamas and babies,

Sheila

Satisfaction in Christ?

2011-11-16T15:57:00.001-08:00

Satisfied in Christ. Am I? Should I be? Oh, the questions that plague my mind and heart sometimes.

There has been a lot going on in there, and I haven't been certain how to process it all, so I bring it to you, dear reader, and ask that you think on some of it with me. I recognize my inadequacy beside Christ, and the fact that my knowledge of Him and relationship with Him is nowhere near the place that it 'should' be, and yet I know that until eternity, I cannot ever truly be 'satisfied in Christ' in the way we shall be. Perhaps even, if I find myself completely satisfied in Christ at this moment, I am stagnating, drifting from the place of constant growth that the Word seems to call me to be.

I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Phil 3:14

We are not to stagnate. And yet should I be dissatisfied in Christ? Is that somehow right? No, I believe not, for if I am to be constantly agitated, yearning for something beyond or outside of Christ, that too, is unholy.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” John 6:35

Aha, so it is not hungering for something outside of Christ, that is, being content to be in Christ, yet yearning, thirsting even, for more of Christ, to become a more submitted servant, and a more dedicated child.

Perhaps that's where I am trying to rest as I speak of satisfaction in Christ. It is satisfaction not only in who He is, (I AM), but being satisfied being inside His will. For, in fact, every moment we live as Christians is within His will. But that is another big topic. :-)

God is sovereign! I can be satisfied only by Him, and as I long and yearn for Him, I become satisfied by His drink, and learn to thirst yet more fore further knowledge of His being.

Striving towards eternity,
Sheila

A Girl's Day

2011-11-09T17:44:00.000-08:00

I love to play. I love to play with beautiful girls. It's such a priviledge to be a child again with them, to glorify Jesus by reveling in the joy that comes through the simple pleasures that He made.

Hey Kyla! You're going to bump me off!

We created delectable delights, filled with chocolate, coconut, walnuts, peanut butter, icing sugar, caramel, skor bits, cookie pieces, marshmallow... oh yes please!

We made music, too, but it enthralled us too much to take pictures.

Look at this beautiful girl!

And hey, she's got a beautiful sister!

Love you, girls!

... I'll always climb trees.

Sheila

Banana Bread and Apple-y Goodness

2011-11-05T18:14:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life that are simply yummy. :-)

This morning my Mum made sauteed apples. So much yumminess. The picture does it absolutely no favours, but there it is. Tis yum.

And I made banana bread. Uh oh.

Looks darker in the picture. Weird. But yummy!

Oh boy, you know what happens when you put me in the presense of two terribly yummy yummies?

Note the nibbles. Oh the joy and the delight of sugar and apples and bananas and carbs. And after the picture? I spooned on more apples in their deliciously caramel-y goodness. Mmmm...

Banana Bread:
(makes 2 loaves)

Dry:
Flour - 3 1/2 c.
Baking Powder - 6 tsp
Baking Soda - 1/2 tsp
Salt - 1/2 tsp

Wet:
Mushed banas - 2 cups
Vegetable oil - 2/3 cup
Sugar - 1 1/2 cups
Eggs - 4

- Combine bananas, oil, sugar, and eggs in a large bowl. Beat until light and foamy.

- Add sifted, dry ingredients

- Pour into greased loaf pans

- Bake 50-70 minutes at 350 degrees.

Enjoy!

I am a Street Lamp

2011-11-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought of yourself as a street lamp? This thought came to me, I believe from the Lord, several nights ago as I snuck out late for a walk, talking to Jesus as I did. It was cold, and I walked quickly to keep from shivering. I tipped my head back as far as I dared without baring my neck too much to the breeze, and peeked a little at the stars. They are truly magnificent.

As I approached a dark spot, the stars seemed brighter, shining at me, as well as around me, and whispering secrets to me as I stood there, in awe, no longer trying to shield my neck from the cold. My head lay as far back as it could go, and I drank it all in. The magnitude of time, and the monstrous size of those heavenly bodies filled my heart with wonder as I attempted for the zillionth time to comprehend the heavens. The sky certainly is a beautiful place, and a humbling one, as well.

Finally, I moved on, walking brisquely and speaking with my Lord, trying to listen to Him even above the swishing of my clothes. I stopped for a moment to hear Him better, and then kept walking.

A block and a half from home, I had an incredible revelation. I'm a street lamp. You see, I was still gazing at the stars as I walked, and as I approached a street light, the stars seemed to dim and become rather faint. All at once, I couldn't see them at all, in fact all I could see was this brilliant, yellow light shining into my face. I stared at it for a moment, and then began to move past it, but the light in my eyes was still shielding me from the light of the stars. It took quite a number of steps before the stars came back into view, one by one.

If, in this crazy analogy, you think of the magnitude of the heavens as representing our eternal Creator God--so vast, so incomprehendable, so brilliant--then that street lamp surely must be me. The light from that lamp is darkness in comparison with the illumination from just one of those suns out there, and yet when my eyes are focused on it alone, it completely blocks out the light of all of those wonderous creations of light.

Isn't that much the same as when I focus my inward eyes onto myself, so crowding the view of and relationship with my Lord? His brilliance is so much more than mine that it cannot even be compared, yet daily I seem to find more fascination with a street lamp than a whole night sky filled with stars.

Sheila

Circles and Squares and Trust

2011-10-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

Could it be that too many of us circles and triangles are trying very hard to fit into square holes? I've tried so hard, so many times, and I'm rather exhausted by the effort, which produces very limited results. I have found that when I do manage to fit into the wrong shape, I end up rather distorted and confused. This can't be what God has for us.

A childlike attitude seems to be the only answer. Willing to live day by day, trusting in the sovereignty of God, sure that in His eternal supremacy all the answers lie, though I may not fathom them. Perhaps I never shall, but if I seek Him, daily, and learn from Him, surely I shall know enough to step forward into the day that that the Lord sets before me. Trusting, waiting, and listening.

"O Lord of hosts, Blessed is the man who trusts in You!" (Psalm 84:12)."

Oh how blessed in this way I desire to be.

So I shall keep dancing in the raining, swinging like my life depended on it, and running oblivious into the great unknown of the life that the Lord has prepared for me. :-)

In Him,
Sheila

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-10-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Thank you Jesus for Thanksgiving. :-)

I heart pie. Especially Pumpkin Pie.

More pie. :-D

Squash

Squish. I mean, yam.

Big, stuffed, chicken.

Cranberry sauce.

Scones. Wait, that was breakfast.

Aaahh! I can't wait for dinner! But seriously:

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift. 2 Cor. 9:15

Thankfully,

Sheila

Breakfast Cookies

2011-10-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

There's something about breakfast and cookies in the same sentence. It spells WONDERFUL. :-)

The following is an adaptation of a recipe I found a few months back on allrecipies.com, the original of which can be found here. And yes, it really does say bacon. Mmmm...

Breakfast Cookies

1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2cup sugar
1 egg
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
10 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled (or approx. 2 good handfuls of chopped)
2 cups raisin bran (pick out most sugary raisins or just use bran flakes)
1/2 cup raisins

Directions

In a mixing bowl, cream butter and sugar. Beat in egg. Add flour and baking soda; mix well. Stir in bacon, bran flakes, and raisins. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls 2 in. apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Makes between 10 and 13 big cookies
Bake at 350 degrees F for 15-18 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool for 2 minutes before removing to wire racks. Store in the refrigerator.... if they last that long. :-)

That was breakfast this morning! Be careful, though, because they are mildly addicting, and you might find yourself eating them for lunch and snacks, too. ;-)

Enjoy!
Sheila

Daughterhood Today

2011-10-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:2-3

My whole post hinges on this scripture, so read it carefully! :-)

I've been reading Bailey's Blog recently, and have decided to weigh in on the recent drama regarding the relationship of a daughter to her family, stay-at-home daughters, growing up, and personal responsibility before the Lord. This has been for me a rather delicate and relevant topic for me, as my own journey through daughterhood has been fraught with unexpected and unusual events. Do I agree with Bailey? Absolutely, but I think we can expand even more by hearing others' responses to the topic too.

I must make it plain that I am not a feminist. Neither do I adhere to such strict patriarchal ideals as those that subject women to the whims of any man. Either end of the spectrum is wholly ungodly. Yet, as a daughter of the King and a daughter of my earthly father, there are some important roles that I must respect and ensure my understanding of--and this is for my wellbeing as well as for everyone else's! My father and my mother are my earthly authority as long as I am ummarried, this is true, but it does change. When I am at home, living in my parents house, using their car, I check with them before I go out. Does it fit with their schedule? Is the car available? Did they have something else planned? Is there any other reason why they might ask me to remain home? Yet if I am away from home for an extended period, as I have been before and will be again, do I need to ask them before running to town for milk? No. Sometimes there are other authorities in place, such as at a school, and sometimes there might not be, such as if I was living 'on my own'. No two situations are equal.

God designed parents to be in authority over their children. God designed husbands to be in authority over their wives (Eph 5:22-24). God designed the man and the woman to perfectly compliment one another (Mark 10:8). But how does this hold up for young women not yet married? Certainly young men are growing up to be confident providers, and can provide for themselves. But what of the women? Are they to grow up to be meek and vulnerable, unable to sustain themselves, knitting under their father's roof until he dies, leaving daughter and mother with no help but maybe an older brother who suddenly has not only his own wife and family, but a mother and 2 younger sisters to support?

I've been labelled "The Scenario Girl" rightly, I suppose, but the first half of the scenario seems all-too-often to occur, and the second half just as easily could. Perhaps it's extreme, I admit, but that doesn't make it less valid. Unfortunately we don't live in a simpler society where there is a proper social/family network, where the woman's role as helpmeet is viewed as imperitive to existance, and where degrees are not viewed as keys to ultimate success in life. If that were the case, I'd learn to knit better. I'd stop trying to figure out life. I'd bake cookies, pray, and wait for Prince Charming.

Perhaps it's just as well we don't!

For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. -Jeremiah 29:11

This is where I must, personally, rest. I don't have my life all planned out. I wish I did. Then again, I'm glad I don't. For a couple years I was very cocky because I did have it all planned out, but then my plans failed, crumbled, and I was left stripped down to my birthday suit, sobbing in the hands of Jesus. He's let me make plans since, and when I've let Him show me, they've turned out alright. When I did it all myself, life got rather confusing. It's a hard lesson!

So where does that leave me as a stay-at-home daughter or not? I, like Bailey, don't use labels, but right now I'm at home. Next year I won't be! My father is a wonderful, godly man, but he's human too. As I've grown up, the relationship has changed from little girl and authoritarian Daddy (in the best of ways), to young woman and guiding father. We talk. We pray. Finally, I make a decision based on the leading both of the Lord, and of my earthly father--and mother-- as they wait on God's direction. Sometimes it's more me, and I inform my parents, and then we discuss it. They don't veto things anymore, I'm too big for spankings, but I know that for my own mental, physical, and spiritual health, I must honour my father and mother. If I marry, I marry, and then the honour changes once again. It's never static, but God is. Praise be, something (SomeONE) isn't subject to time!

And that's what it boils down to, isn't it? Time and its relevance. God and His sovereignty. We, as His children, must listen and obey, listen and obey, listen and obey.

Sometimes that just means waiting.

In Him,

Sheila

Childhood in Grown-up-ness

2011-09-29T11:01:00.000-07:00

photo credit

Lately, it seems, the Lord has given me incredible moments of childhood. Swings are new and exciting again. Somehow there is the possibility for joy in the most insignificant of moments. It began a few weeks ago when I rediscovered a little playground nearby. There I flew as high as I could possibly fly on the big swing, danced around the grass in bare feet, jumped on the bouncy see-saw, and hung upside-down from the bars. I sat in the middle of the field and crushed dry birch leaves in my hands, surrounded by their sweet scent, and engulfed by waves of unclear yet beautiful memories.

Babysitting has been good medicine for my grown-up-ness. They showed me reliance on authority (for me, my King!), and the simple joys of forging new trails through a patch of bush, or ruling the neighbourhood aboard a rattling scooter. I thought my scooter had long since found its way to the dump, but when I returned home, there it was, nestled among old flower pots and jugs of lawnmower gasoline at the back of the shed. It still has a 'Jesus Loves Me' sticker on it that I remember thinking was super cool, many moons ago. So I took her for a spin, the bones in my hands being grated as we scooted over some of the bumpier roads. I still get a thrill out of going downhill, and my mind still starts running, dreaming up all sorts of situations and scenarios that I and my imaginary world could find ourselves in. To say I missed it would be misleading--growing up has been good--but how I am enjoying 'returning to my roots', and re-loving the joys of my younger years. I praise the Lord for this gift.

I'm going to enjoy my childhood more, as life goes on. I'm certain of it. And I think He would like that.

"Taking a child, He set him before them, and taking him in His arms, He said to them, "Whoever receives one child like this in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me does not receive Me, but Him who sent Me." " Mark 9:36-37

Wow. Me doing anything within the will of God, is me receiving Jesus, which is me receiving the fullness of God. Something to ponder, for sure. And Oh, how Jesus loved children!

Sheila

180 Movie

2011-09-26T16:28:00.001-07:00

This is such an important film, and it only takes 33 of your minutes. Please watch it, pray through it, think about it. And then visit www.180movie.com

Here I Am

2011-09-26T11:20:00.000-07:00

Here I am. Today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow,yet here I am. I feel constrained, yetthat is exactly what I don’t want. Idon’t want to be tied to anything, I want to be alone, and free, and motion-full,not distracted by other stories that invade my mind. I wish I wish. That seems to be my life song. Regret. Yet I don’t want it. Remorse. Yet not over sin, justover decisions, decisions that are neither good nor bad, but simply are. I am. He is. They are. It is. And so we exist.

I began, 20 plus years ago, I barely was. I try to invade the space where thatoccurred, the time when that occurred, the itthat that occurred. I barely was, yet Igrew, unnoticed, unknown, unfelt, unheard, unseen. My heart was formed. And then my heart beat its first beat. My face was formed—unique—my fingers andtheir fingerprints, my eyes, and their first glimmer of light, so faint throughthe darkness in my cocoon. Yet it wasnot mine. Already the world did notbelong to me. It was hers. It was his. It was His.

I was born, and chaos began. Not my chaos, but chaos that would change my life before most of itbegan. And so I drank another child’sdrink, and waited, cared for by foreign hands, the first words I heard withclarity not being uttered in the language I would learn to speak first, but inthe gentle sing-song of my first country. Time slowed, then, my little fingers grasping for what wasn’t, my tinymind completely unaware of the prayers cast frantically at the feet of theFather. My mother lives today. He saved her. And He would save me.

I don’t know what happened those first few years. Those memories will have to wait untilfurther revelation. Until then, I relyon second-hand information, but these are my words. Relating unnecessary foolishness can wait forother epics. I was 2, it was mybirthday, the carpet was red, and there was a closet. That is my earliest recognizable memory,though I have no idea why. And then Iwas 3, and the carpet was mint green (except it wasn’t). There were stairs, and a balcony, and I wasborn in the kitchen (except I wasn’t). Ice cream cake. Granny in theliving room—or is that a photograph? Feeding the ducks—or is that a photograph too? Dancing in the isle, swinging on the swings,exploring the shed, listening for cougars; now the memories begin to tricklemore freely. My blue flowered coat,standing on the grass, and then my tree. Now the recollections flow abundantly; my imagination was unleashed. I could create.

My childhood was beautiful, I danced, I lived, I was. We played together, we lived together. My big self is simply an echo of my smallself. At first I thought it was theother way ‘round, but it’s not, at least I don’t think so. I was so aware of life, so aware of theearth’s spinning, and of the ever-changing stability of green-ness andwind. I played with imagination, I livedin it, and I revelled in it, drinking in the possibilities like elixir that mylife depended on. Truly immersing myselfin the realm of the unknown was my daily sup. I was fulfilled in my life, for it existed within the One in whom my life began—a pattern that breaks all tooquickly for many people. But this is mystory—His story in me. I could list manylittle regrets, of the kind that seem so monumental as a child. Sometimes, when I soak my soul in the fabricof my childhood, they still feel huge, untameable, unconquerable, and my heartcries a little. Then slowly, my heart’sgrubby little fist releases its hold: “Take it, God, it never was mine”.

Choir. Capture theflag. Schoolwork. Nonsense. My tree. Oh, to twist among itsbranches again—and yet somehow there is incredible comfort in the fact thatbecause it was good and it happened, it will always exist. There is nothing about those moments thatneed ever be snuffed out; I can return to that occurrence any time Iplease. What a beautiful thought!

And then childhood began to wane, and so did I. Isn’t that what happens to most of us? When childhood dies, so does a big piece ofour souls. Mine was slower to becrushed, and solid food has reconstructed much of the repairable parts, yet Istill grow worried about the areas that seem irretrievable, unattainable. Perhaps one day, or one something else.

Regrets really began. The leadings were inaudible, the directions unclear. I ploughed forward, unable to make out facesin my soul. And then, just as I was nolonger able to be me, all hell broke loose, because I did. I wanted so desperately to be me, for thattiny 2-celled organism I had been some 16 years before to come back to life inmy heart. I tried. I tried. I tried so hard. Trying doesn’twork. And I wasn’t.

I dabbled, I twirled, I drank in the wind, running amuck inchaos of my own, revelling in the wonders that God has rightly placed in thisworld, from willow, to blood, to body. Islowly soaked my soul in shame, though I was performing this un-sacred actunaware. It would take God to resurrectmy heart, for it was no longer human, but ghoulish, though its emitting offaerie projections and faux-truth un-realities remained consistent with mydeeper yearnings. Yet the cries of myvery being were being slowly stifled too, and so I longed with all that I amfor Truth. Searching frantically withgrace became my bread and water, no longer satisfied with the first fruits,drinking un-filled of another one’s drink. My pudding was swirled. Myvanilla was tainted. My blood was givenup. I was all but dead.

And I did not know it.

Deeper rumblings were roaring forth, covering the veryexistence of life itself with vitality. He is alone so that I am not. Hewas, so that I can be. I am, because Healways has been. The Lion’s Song hasbeen sung—is singing. Creation arose fromits grotesque slumber. Salvation is.

And I existed. Thedarkness, with its snaky fingers and shadowy penetrations, was tornexcruciatingly from my heart, as I writhed in terror and regret, weeping andfalling in repentance before the Lamb who is a Lion. Perhaps one time I shall comprehend themagnitude of that occasion, but today, I can only say that it was the mostviolent experience of my life to date. My life was torn from me, reformed, un-violated, grace poured out, andfaith appropriated. My death wasundone.

Yet am I who I was? Iam who I can be, somewhere, yet I don’t even know me. I followed the will of God, I went where Iwas supposed to go, and then all of a sudden silent disruptions began to cloudmy clear horizon. Uncontrollable fogbegan to cover my paths, and fear began to creep its crawly little noses intomy peaceful heart. It was different thistime, for I was covered differently, my two-cell self far better preserved, butit hurts. To this moment, there remainssome of that terror, that fright, that distrust that is so shameful to one whonames the Name of the Most High. If Hecan tear the shroud of night from the blackest of blood-pumping organs, He canbe trusted. Yet the future scaresme.

The future is no less real than the past, I realize that,but its un-reality is unnerving. My calmhas been lost, is lost, yet it is. Hecan restore it, as He has restored all else and can and will. Time is irrelevant, if I am surrendered,submitted, cured, healed, not in control. Restrained in freedom to the King: That isLife. That is Truth.

I have found Truth. Iam afraid of the future, and the past, and the present. I am afraid of life. I am not afraid of Life. Life abundantly, that is what I ampromised. I am promised, for I existwithin The Promise. I am redeemed. I must walk. I walk.

A conclusion cannot be come to, for time is irrelevant, andthere is no conclusion for irrelevancy of being, and so all that I can say isthis: I am in Him who is I AM.

The Day I Didn't Get Married

2011-09-10T16:06:00.000-07:00

It is currently 3:46pm, September 10, 2011. I would have been married, but I'm not. I'm simply a daughter of the King, and so blessed.

There will be no pictures of this part of the story, but bear with me, that's part of the story. This morning, after my 2 pieces of toast, we went for our walk. We walked all along the seawall, taking in the beauty, reveling in the breeze, smelling new scents with each breath. I was praying; it was good. Finally, I pulled out my camera, realizing that I had forgotten to put in my SD card again, and started feeling frustrated. My friend, Lou, had forgotten her camera, and her cell's battery was dead. I suppose the Lord didn't want me taking pictures, but it took me a few minutes for my inner temper tantrum to die down. Finally, I rested in the Lord, and started enjoying what He'd given me. I began picking flowers, making a chain, making a little bouquet, and putting the chain into my hair as a crown. A little taste of the joy of the Lord!

We continued walking, eventually entering Stanley Park, and now I could feel the pulse of the life that is so evident in the forest. Here I felt vitality, strength, and peace. What a gift! We kept walking, and I glanced at my watch. 11:20. 10 minutes before my 'wedding'.

And there we were, 11:25, I'm all decked out, not in white, but in flowers. I'm praising God, not for marriage, but for His grace. I sat before the most beautiful big pond, covered in lily pads, framed by great evergreens. A small girl shyly walked towards me, her long, blonde curlies hanging past her shoulder. "I like the flowers in your hair..." she smiled. I motioned for her to come toward me. "What's your name?", I asked.

"Nelli".
"I'm Sheila. Would you like some flowers?" I smiled back at her.
She nodded, and I handed her my little bouquet of wild flowers.
"Thank you."

She walked away, her little skirt dancing around her, her tiny blue eyes caressing the yellow blossoms.

My flower girl. I realized that later. I had a little flower girl!

What a delight to my heart. 11:30. I breathed deeply, and began to pray. I poured out my heart, I poured out my thanks, I poured out my future, I praised Him who is sovereign for His sovereignty. And then I rested.

I sat and reveled in the moment, and a the still small voice of the Lord clearly spoke to me: "You're right where you're supposed to be." I've been praying for days that the Lord would speak to me clearly, definitively, and there in that moment, about the same time I would have been saying "I do", He promised me that He was at work. I have not felt such joy, such peace, such incredible rest and comfort and confidence in a very long time. What a blessing! There is still so much unknown, but here I am, resting in His hand.

My un-wedding ring from the Mexican festival. :-)

The day has been full of joy, of mochas and ice cream, and burritos, of laughs, of Mexican festivals, cookbooks, songs, and virgin margaritas, and more to come, but I am still reveling in the smallest moment, which is the biggest.

"You're right where you're supposed to be."

And there I rest. It is a promise.

Sheila

Sushi in Vancouver

2011-09-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

"An explosion of amazing flavours all at once." That's what Lou called it, and she's absolutely right. Oh my goodness. Yum yum yum. :-)

Aaand, I dropped it. Gotta work on my chopstick skills.

And we had calamari that was to die for, but forgot to take a picture. Devoured it too fast.

It all had to go in at once... :-P

And did I mention it was yummy? Check out Miku's. Wow.

Vancouver: A journey of observation

2011-09-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took a little trip across the water. Those of you who have been reading here a while or know me, know that I live on a little island. A big island, actually, but a little island when it comes to the size of the world. This one!

People-watching is a favourite sport of mine

So, yesterday I traveled to Vancouver, by ferry, to see a friend. It's fascinating, actually. I'm so not a city girl or a corporate ladder climber, so being right downtown is, well, interesting.

A little green...

But the water, oh! The water is beautiful. And the green in the parks, I love it. I find the contrast of the old and the new invigorating. And the vitality of the people around me is wonderful. Yet I never realized how horrific self-satisfaction can be: It's everywhere! Everything is concentrated in the city.

A glimpse of the water at the left...

In it's full glory!

Fascinating, how the old can mingle with the new.

And so I'm here for the next few days, soaking in something. Perhaps I'll have to shed it again, we'll see. But in the mean time, I'm determined to learn, to observe, and to pray a lot. The Lord desperately wants me to learn while I'm here, but if I am to learn from Him, I need to be seeking Him. So I am, silently, as I walk, and think.

Take some time to observe today, and pray for me. Comment, what did you learn? And I'll pray for you in that too. :-)

In Him,
Sheila

My Post of Submission

2011-09-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, Lord.

This is my post of submission. Maybe I don't look too submissive, but here I am, wanting to, yearning to let you take the control I know you actually already have. So I give it up. I give me up.

Here are my plans.

Here is my future.

Here is my self.

Do with it as You will.

John 4:23 “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.”

Oh, how I long to worship You, to be used by You, to be Yours eternally. And I am and I do. Sporadically. But Jesus let this be my attitude every hour of my life, waking, sleeping, or dead! May my open heart spill forth something of the sweetness of your Name.

Sheila

Original Emery Circle Oatmeal Cookies

2011-09-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's the simple things in life that are the best. It seems the simplest cookies, too, have the best tasting cookie dough. For me? That's just good, old fashioned, oatmeal cookies.

Can I share?

Aww... aren't they pretty? I mean, they aren't that pretty, compared to other things, but they're beautiful in my heart. Because I like to nibble them. :-)

Oh, and Emery Circle is the street my Mum grew up on. It's been a good recipe for a long time. The short forms are copied straight from the card, because that's how my Mum rolls. Save time even on recipe writing. See?

Original Emery Circle Oatmeal Cookies

- 1 c. butter, softened
- 1 c. br. sugar
- 1 egg

Cream together well

- 1 c flour
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 tsp b. soda
- 3 c. rolled oats

Mix and drop by spoonfuls on parchment-paper-covered cookie sheet. Flatten with (wet) hand or fork.

- Optional raisins, choc. chips, 1/2 cup (do it!)

Second option: reduce oatmeal to 2 1/4 c., add 1 c. coconut. (yum. 'nuff said.)

"Love me!"

I'd have posted some cookie dough eating moments, but they passed by so quickly...

Enjoy one on me today. :-)

Sheila

Rest

2011-09-01T14:44:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll.

That's how laid back I feel right now. Kinda like Texas, where the sun is hot, and the sweat trickling down your back just sort of saps all the 'go-get-er' out of you. Sometimes it's good to feel like that, to relax, to pray, to think, to dream.

That's where I am. Running through fields and just dreaming a bit. Mind you, it's anything but hot here. Our unusually short and cool summer has officially ended, and it's feeling a lot like autumn out there, but somehow that's good too. Life goes on.

So I decided not to finish the course. Rather, God decided and showed me in His own time. Sometimes, it seems, He just gives us space to recover, to live life, to rest, to dream, to feel the invisible sweat trickle down your back, if you know what I mean. It's not that I'm not willing to work hard, I am, and I'm not just sitting around on my butt, it's just that alongside all the housework (which I happen to mostly enjoy), I can bake cookies and drink tea, read books, and think, and plan.

To a point, anyway. The planning, that is. If I plan too much I know that I'm overstepping my bounds. I know the Lord has given me a brain to use, so I'm using it, but I know that if I try to have everything for the next year all figured out, He's going to change my plan anyway. He's teaching me to use this resource of time and energy carefully. Not lazily, just carefully.

So that's what I'm learning. To rest.

"Come to me all you who are wear and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28

I love Him.

Sheila

Unknown.

2011-08-29T16:04:00.000-07:00

I don't really know what I'm supposed to write. Heck, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. Everything is rather muddled, as it usually is by the time I hit the last few hours of 'decision making time' for any decision. I hate my indecision. I hate the confusion. I hate not knowing.

Part of me wishes I had all the answers, and yet I know (somewhere inside my thick skull) that I have THE answer: God. He knows. He has a plan. He's figured it all out. I just still... don't know what to do.

So I sit here, waiting for some message to pop up on the screen or some voice to come bellowing from somewhere, or someone to hand me a road map with a big red X on it for where I'm supposed to go (along with a timetable, please). Or maybe they could just say "God says finish this.", or "God says put it behind you and go do XYZ."

My tummy feels funny. It's that weird, nauseous (or 'oogy', as we call it in my family) feeling that somehow goes along with really craving ice cream and chocolate. Except I think if I did I'd feel worse, so scrap that idea. Somehow it's a desperate longing for fulfillment, even if extraordinarily temporary. I'm so vulnerable. And humiliated, before the Lord.

Oh Jesus... please. Please!!!

Trusting His Royal Imagination,
Sheila

Sushi!

2011-08-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

EDIT: More Pics Added!

So on Saturday I ventured out to create something I've never created before: Sushi! And boy was it yum. Words cannot express the yum-ness of sushi. :-)

First off, I didn't have a bamboo mat to roll with. Couldn't find one at the time. Aaand... I forgot to take pictures of the rolling process. But it was fine without the mat, you can trust me. :-)

What you'll need:

Nori (sheets of seaweed for the outside)
Sushi rice

Possible insides:

Crab or artificial crab
Thin strips of cucumber
Egg
Cream cheese (bizarre, but yum!)
Soy sauce
Mayonaise
Carrot
Sprouts
Tuna
Avocado
...or really whatever you want. :-)

Dippy things:

Mayo mixed with Sriracha (or any other hot sauce, I think?)
Soy sauce
Wasabi
Soy sauce mixed with Wasabi


Note that you want the whole piece of nori... this is just half, and I had to fix that.

First off, cook up your sushi rice according to the directions. You want it nice and sticky, but cooked through well. Lay out your ingredients and slice up any veggies, eggs, and the like, that might be going inside.

LJ? I miss you. Your old shirt misses you too.

When the rice is ready, plop some on your waiting nori, and wet a spoon with water to spread it thinly across the nori. You'll have to keep wetting the back of the spoon if you don't want the rice to just stick to it. leave a centimeter or so of open nori at the far edge

When the rice is sufficiently thin (this was where I think I would change something, my rice was a little over the top), lay a long line of fillings, but not too much or it will overflow!

Then carefully roll up the sushi, sticking the roll together with the free end of the nori. Then slice it up with a bread knife or equally sharp and possibly serrated knife.

Yum yum. Never mind the fall-apart-y ones, t'was my first time. :-)

And of course, it would be really sad if you didn't have some pickled pink ginger to go with it. Because it's incredibly tasty with sushi. Yum.

Hopefully I haven't scared you off, it's really rather easy. See?

Enjoy!

Sheila

Time

2011-08-21T17:29:00.000-07:00

I have an odd quote, posted in an odd way, from an odd book, and I want to share it with you at the start of this post because it is so positively interesting that it fits. Read on...

Be!

Be, butterfly and behemoth,

be galaxy and grasshopper,

star and sparrow,

you matter,

you are,

be!

Be, caterpillar and comet,

be porcupine and planet,

sea sand and solar system,

sing with us,

dance with us,

rejoice with us,

for the glory of creation,

sea gulls and seraphim,

angle worms and angel host,

chrysanthemum and cherubim

...

"Be!

Sing for the glory

of the living and the loving

the flaming of creation

sing with us

dance with us

be with us

Be!"

And back to regular programming. Which is equally random, I might add. That is a quote from "A Wind in the Door", a book by Madeleine L'Engle which is a companion to "A Wrinkle in Time", which you might have heard of because they made a movie of it. In any case, I encourage you to read them, for there is a whole lot of interesting imagination in them that leads to some fantastic lines of thinking.

Time. You see, I've been intending to write this post (or a version of it) for ages. But what are ages? What is now? We serve a boundless Creator God, and He knows no time, so how am I to understand time's purpose? To bind me? To bind you? To serve as a platform for salvation? And if I know that God's existence is beyond these confines of 'then' and 'now', then what matters a day, except that I only have a specific allotted number of them?

Let's look at a verse, and two quotes from J. I. Packer's "Knowing God".

"The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart, through all generations." - Psalm 33:11

"God's Purposes do not change: ... What God does in time, He planned from eternity. And all that He planned in eternity He carries out in time. And all that He has in His word committed Himself to do will infallibly be done."

"Still He blesses those on whom He sets His love in a way that humbles them, so that all the glory may be His alone. Still He hates the sins of His people and uses all kinds of inward and outward pains and griefs to wean their hearts from compromise and disobedience. Still He seeks the fellowship of His people and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to Himself. ... So we read of God dealing with His people in the Scripture record and so He deals with them still. His aims and principles of action remain consistent; He does not at any time act out of character. Our ways, we know, are pathetically inconsistent - but not God's."

Isn't that GOOD?

Time. He's outside of it, and so shall we be. We are bound to it, temporarily, because we are bound to our bodies. In prayer, we come before a Holy Spirit who works consistently, He does not change as we do from day to day.

Shall we be bound by time today? Or shall we waste our lives? How do we live within time, but with a proper view to an eternity without it? Oh, that we might taste of the timelessness of God!!!

More thoughts to come...

In Him,

Sheila

Switzerland

2011-08-14T02:35:00.000-07:00

Oh goodness. Today has been one of those days. Or should I say yesterday, it's 2:25am right now, and bless my heart, I can't sleep. I guess I haven't tried for the past 45 minutes, but still. How so one of those days? Well, it's been a good one, I have to say, filled with work, and study, and learning, and cooking, and time spent together with my family, and dreaming, and thinking, and learning some more.

I've been practicing up 'my German' a bit, which isn't really saying much, as I don't really have any German to speak of. I just want some reading and writing to go along with the miniscule amount of Swiss-German dialect that I've got on my tongue.

I've been thinking about going back, and what that might hold. Part of me dreams of living with family there, working in the town, doing who-knows-what that you don't need language for. Another part of me wants to just find some little mountain farm and work with them for room and board. Maybe both, I'm not sure. Regardless, I'd love to rediscover my roots a bit, feel the newness of the way the country is now, not the stories of the past, and yet also discover the past-ness of the now, the mountains that seem in part, at least, untouched. I've never tasted fresh milk right from a cow before, and I'd like to, you know?

But I've lived here almost all my life:

It's so different. There are plenty of similarities, yes, but there are plenty of differences, too, and even though I'm not planning to move to Switzerland, any time you spend in a place, your whole life is there in that moment. Daunting, isn't it?

Well, I must pray more, for the Lord's plan is already laid out. Who am I to question it?

In Him,
Sheila

Family and Creation Beaty

2011-08-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

I love my Mama. Honestly, we're such good friends and sisters in the Lord, I treasure her so much! This weekend we went to visit my grandparents together, and had such a blessed time fellowshipping and talking and dreaming through life.

And my dear Granny. She grew up in Peru, and here she is reading a letter in Spanish from one of our sponsored Compassion children. I love this dear woman of God!

Grampa, bless his heart. He always has a project on the go. His mind is so sharp. He knows so much, it's fascinating to learn from him in the garden.

Meditating on the beauty of creation that our Lord created for His glory.

The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.

Psalm 19:1

Fresh, ripe, and beautiful.

He created me, too. How incredible!

Sheila

The Craft Lady

2011-08-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

Oh! Finally I have things to blog about and I have to choose! Well, God is gracious, and has filled life up with many interesting things lately. Here are some of the lighter ones.

As of late, I have become "The Craft Lady" at work, when I am helping as a children's leader. Not quite sure how that one happened, but there it is! I've greatly been enjoying this designation however! It frees me up to let my creative juices flow and to see the imaginations of children take flight. Fantastic stuff.

All my little girls are pretty princesses!

And blue... an earlier and less precise rendition.

Sewed up this from my old jeans. I'll take a not-so-head-on picture sometime too. :-)

More to come. So fun! :-)

In Him who is the grandest Creator,
Sheila

A Disaster for Today

2011-08-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Ah... fresh fruit. We've had an abundance of it here lately, local, organic, and otherwise, and it's been such a pleasure. Thank you Lord! So in honour of that great blessing, we decided to make a peach cobbler for supper. What a wonderful treat for my family.

Looks beautiful, doesn't it? I delighted in setting the table, making the tea and coffee, spreading the cheese out delicately, and baking the cobbler to toasty and sugary perfection. Except that when I tasted the cobbler, I happened upon a few terrible discoveries:

It was still doughy in the middle, despite the clean skewer.
It was over-cooked on top.
I'd accidentally grabbed the baking soda instead of the baking powder.
I'd accidentally grabbed the 1/2 tablespoon instead of the 1/2 teaspoon.

Whoops.

But you know, besides my "Oh my goodness this is gross!" and running to the sink to spit, and my subsequent dealing with my own frustrations and embarrassment, it was a good experience. First off, I need some terrible kitchen disaster stories to tell my descendants, that's a must, and also... humility. As well, it's a fabulous metaphor for people. Too many of us put up a beautiful, crispy, sugary, baked-to-perfection front, when inside, we're triple-baking-soda people. Are we really living for the Lord, or does it just look like it?

I think I'd rather be like this apple. A little bruised on the outside, but honest. But inside, good things are happening: growth of character, heart, and mind.

Thank you, Jesus, for little lessons.

Sheila

A New Era -- my life this coming year

2011-08-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

Now that I have some sort of plan for this coming year, I want to share it here, to put it down on paper, so-to-speak. It's been a little disorienting, and disheartening, for that matter, to ponder the future in light of the recent events. I'd gotten used to the stability of the idea of getting married, being a wife, and organizing a household. I'd forgotten my educational plans. I'd stopped worrying about work. I'd left all travel plans for our future as a couple. But since marriage is now not anywhere in the picture, I had to come crawling back to the Lord once again... "Please help, God, I can't do this on my own either."

I've been working part-time at a local resort in the recreation department, as a leader in their "Kid's Club" program, an office assistant, and a back-up swim instructor. It's been an incredible blessing to be earning some, and a rewarding and interesting job, but it ends at the end of the summer, and leaves my fall rather empty.

Back in the spring when I stopped studying full time, I left one fascinating 6-credit Anatomy and Physiology course unfinished. The end date of the course is December 31, and I'm going to tackle it! It's a little daunting, but very exciting at the same time. It was my favourite course of the four, and it will be a splendid challenge.

I'm teaching piano a bit again, and hoping to gather a few more students into my little flock of young musicians. I also have one family that babysit for occasionally, and possibly some more options in that department. Hopefully in this way I'll be able to earn a few dollars and save.

I'm also going to be able to finish my certification as a birth doula! I have two books to finish reading, and my dear friend Mary is giving birth to her third child in November--my final certification birth, as she would like me to be her doula once again. Indeed it will be exciting to finally have that finished.

Beyond finishing the certification and my university course by Christmas, I have another friend giving birth in January, so I must be here for that, it's a delight to be asked to be her doula. That also gives me the month of January to recuperate from studying, and think ahead to...

Travel? Yes, God-willing, I'm hoping to have saved up enough to travel. Hopefully I'll be able to spend several months in Switzerland, although I'm not closing the door to short-term missions if God calls me to that instead. If I were to go away, it would be sometime in February or March for 1-6 months. I don't know what that will look like yet, but I'm trusting the Lord that He will unfold HIS plan in my life, to His glory.

It's all a bit fuzzy yet, I admit, but it's a start. At least I have a general sense of direction. As I seek the Lord and fellowship with those brothers and sisters in Christ here who are so dear, I pray that He will continue to guide and lead as He would see fit. My life is a book full of question marks to me, but the Lord can read them all.

What are your plans for the year?

Ginger Pudding

2011-07-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

So this morning I got up and baked. Because it was delicious and yummy and super easy and fun to make. This one is from Lesotho, and it's called ginger pudding. I made a sweet and beautiful custard to pour over it, and enjoyed it all morning for breakfast, and brunch, and lunch...and dessert after supper. :-)

Thank you Lord for baking!

Ginger Pudding (Lesotho)
This steamed pudding is common in British-influenced southern Africa.

Serves 6-8
375*F / 190*C
50-55 min

Combine in 9-inch square baking dish:
2 cups boiling water
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 Tbs vinegar
Stir until sugar dissolves. Set aside.

In separate bowl combine:
1/3 cup margarine, melted (I used butter)
1/3 cup shortening, melted
2 Tbs apricot, currant, or plum jam (I used about 5 Tbs of peach jam)
1 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp ground ginger (I used...5, 6?)

Mix well, adding a bit of milk if batter is too dry (I did add quite a bit, and here's where I added the extra jam too). Preheat oven to 375*F (I did this when I started mixing). Drop cake mixture by small spoonfuls into syrup. Cover tightely with lid or foil (so it steams) and bake 50-55 minutes or until set. Serve topped with custard, fresh or whipped cream, or milk. (Whoops! I forgot to cover mine, but it still set, and was awesome and cakey and had beautiful gooey sauce at the bottom.)

For the custard sauce: (my own recipe)

Combine in saucepan:
2 Tbs corn starch
Pinch salt
2 1/2 Tbs sugar

Beat egg separately, adding a little cold milk.
Mix remaining of 2 1/2 cups milk into cornstarch mixture. Add egg mixture by straining through a sieve to remove firm parts.

Cook over medium heat, whisking most of the time until boiling. Boil 1-2 minutes. Add:
1 tsp vanilla

Yum yum. :-)

Enjoy, friends! Perhaps your entire day will be taken up by ginger pudding like mine was... if it is, let me know. It's bound to be a good day.

In Him,
Sheila

Moments... Each from Him

2011-07-22T23:06:00.000-07:00

Just a quick one to recap my life the past few days... I'm feeling blessed.

Showing my bicycle the light for the first time in a while and biking to a lonely little playground. Swinging on the swings until my newly adult tummy decided that was no longer a good idea. Bouncing on the bouncy seesaw and watching the leafy trees blow as I dreamed through my childhood and imagined through my adulthood.
Laying awake listening to sermons on the Holiness of God. Getting up and taking out my bike through some muddy, grassy, tree-y thoroughfares and listening to that sermon again. Wowed by my Creator. My life was created to bring Him glory, no matter what.
Watching the berry bushes fly past my bike and dreaming of picking them, so juicy and sweet.
Choosing ice cream with my Mum and delighting in obeying the Lord. Sitting by a little fountain in the cool sunshine and licking away the tiny, creamy driplets that run down the cone, talking about life and the glory of God.
Moments of surrender as I struggle with selfishness, the peace that comes from knowing His sovereignty then too.
Little moments of despair, followed by Jesus' grace to see me through.
Teaching swimming once again, and seeing tiny distraught faces turn brighter as they learn and master new skills.
Learning patience and denying self, all the while pleading with the Lord as I battle my sin nature. A beautiful, terrifying thing.
A special dinner out with my parents that I anticipated all week long. Sushi and stir fries and bok choy and peanut sauce. Reconciliation. Joy!
Moments of wonder at the edge of the ocean, reveling in the picture He painted.
Wondering at the future... what will it hold?
Treasuring God's perfect plan, though I know not what it is.

How can I ever doubt Him? It's been far from an easy week... but this one has been beautiful too.

Seeking Him,
Sheila

A Wildberry Tart Life

2011-07-18T10:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a blue day in my soul. Oh, I've had beautiful moments this past week, filled with joy and dancing, yes, but there is in my soul still some blue. So after church yesterday I pulled back my hair and went out into the slight warmth of the rare sun of this strange summer, bucket in hand, to pick some wild berries. Thimble berries and salmon berries, mostly, as you can see above. It was oddly therapeutic. My arms got scratched and my fingers very red, but I kept thinking how I was doing the all I could to reach even the most difficult berries, pushing through thorns of all sorts and cutting up my arms terribly, yet how the Lord does that for us. His arms were much more bloody for me.

Picking berries is rather monotonous, in a beautiful way, and I loved feeling the breeze on my neck and thinking of the future, although that is a topic that scares me at the moment. Yet I rest in Jesus. I am His. He is my strong tower.

I concocted a whole wheat crust, baked it for 10 minutes, and dumped my rinsed berries in. It feels so good to see the literal fruit of my labour sitting in a pie plate. I then beat up an egg, a couple tablespoons of honey, and a dash of milk, and poured it over the berries. A little too much, actually it spilled over the edge of the crust, hence the almost-blackened edges below.

It still tasted magnificent, the sprinkled brown sugar melted all over the top. Pies and tarts don't always go as planned... yet neither does life. Mine certainly hasn't, and I doubt any plans I may dream up now will turn out exactly as I expect. God just doesn't work like that. He wants us to, moment by moment, rely on Him. If we know what's coming, it's impossible.

So I remember: I am the Lord's!

Hugs,

Sheila

A Broken Heart

2011-07-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

One day I'll understand. I know God already does. But my heart hurts. Oh! My heart hurts.

I need you all to know that I am not getting married in September. If you received an invitation, please email me.

All I can do is rest in the knowledge that I am the Lord's, and He is sovereign.

In Him,
Sheila

A Full Heart

2011-05-01T01:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes even being awake long after you should be seems a blessing. Why? Because my heart is so full, I think it would explode if I had to sleep right now. I lay in bed, wondering at life, at the Lord's work, at all that is happening, and all I could do was be thankful. Thank you, Jesus.

A baby was born last Friday, and I was the doula. It was a marvelous, beautiful blessing. On Thursday I finished my exams. (Yes, that means now I can finish my natural birth series!) Now each day seems brighter than the last. Oh yes, there are struggles, even now, but my mind is stayed on Christ.

Oh, perhaps there are big, beautiful, bright things that help that (romance is so lovely!), but it's only beautiful and bright because of how God has worked and is working it. I don't really have a lot to say (or that I can say), so I suppose I'm here and writing this because I want to share with you my gratefulness and joy.

I'm beyond tired. My head hurts. My nose is stuffy. My toes are cold (well... that's pretty much always the case unless I'm in Texas). I have a billion things that need doing. But I'm ridiculously joyful. Bouncing inside. Floating!

And I love Jesus.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. -Philippians 4:6-8

Thanks for reading. :-) Join me again soon.
In Christ,
Sheila

He is Risen!

2011-04-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Easter. Will you indulge me in some reflection on our LORD? He is so good. Please, I beg you, take the time to read these passages, I think they will encourage you greatly. :-)

"...having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this. but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." - Romans 5:1-6

"[W]e have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that s Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likensss of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin, for he who died is freed from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him." - Romans 6:4-7

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honour at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls." - 1 Peter 1:3-9

I was going to wax eloquent on this great day, but what can be more eloquent or beautiful than the plain and simple Word of God?

Let us rejoice in His greatness today! He is Risen!

In Him,
Sheila

Overwhelming... joy.

2011-04-18T21:18:00.001-07:00

I must at least try to explain this terrible, wonderful, mixed-up feeling I have right now. I'm 19. I'm in love. Jesus is amazing. And I have final exams next week. They mean nothing to the rest of my life, now, but I must study for them. And then there are the flowers, and the dreams, and the sunshine, and the rain that is blowing down the street right now. It's beautiful.

I'm impatient, and yet the speed is terrifying. How can those things coexist? My heart is tossed around, excited, bewildered. My life feels to be a flood of intense emotion, fleeting glances, terror, wonder, endless moments of longing, missing, laughing, crying. Beautiful crying.

God's plan is so ridiculously amazing, I must say. I am daily baffled, floored, overwhelmed.

So I'm sick of biology, and all I can think of is... well, shall we say, the future? I'm excited. Yet even in this crazy last week and a half, I'm trying to remember to work "as unto God". It's hard. Each lesson in humility is a reminder of God's sovereignty.

Yet life is beautiful.

Sheila

White and Purple

2011-04-14T14:20:00.000-07:00

photo credit

18. It's been an incredible year. Highlights?

Capernwray Harbour Bible School, January-May
First time living away from home
Growing in faith and relationship with my Lord
Texas! His Hill, Summer staff 2010
Capernwray again, and home, in the will of God
Christmas with my family and cousin from Switzerland
Meeting someone very special
New friends and fellowship: such a blessing
Daily growth in my Saviour

How marvelous. Looking back on this past year brings with it so many varied emotions. I feel on the one hand almost sad to leave it behind: So much good has happened, yet I also see the beauty of what the Lord is shaping for the future. I can't say I understand it, and I'm sure in a year from now I'll be utterly astounded once again, but right now all I can do is be still, quiet my heart before Christ, and say "Thank You, Lord."

I am a synesthete, which for me means that for me, each letter and number and day and moth have colours or a combination of colours and patterns. 1 is white. 8 is a beautiful purple. I have enjoyed these colours immensely throughout this past year, and now, heading into a year filled with white and that strangely orange-pink colour that 9 is, I choose, consciously, to be enamoured with them too. In those colours I will serve the Lord. In those colours I will exist as His instrument. He is so gracious!

1 1/2 days of white and purple. Thank you, Lord. Now to press on in Him!

Sheila

Joy, Baking, and all-day PJs

2011-04-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

So pretty much all the time, my heart feels like I look in this picture. Yes, I have exams in 2 short weeks, but that pales in comparison to the grandeur of the Lord's work and my excitement for the future. Oh my! Sleep and supper happy joy bubbles, however? They don't mix well for me. That is why, at 2am last night I found myself, happy as a clam, making these...

Oh... they are so yummmy, too. If you'd like the recipe, it's here. The goo was my creation, it's milk chocolate, cocoa, white chocolate, peanut butter, and butter. Sprinkles too? What could be better?

Well, I did go back to bed, and I got some sleep. Three hours. Three hours. So when I got up this morning, I decided it was definitely not going to be a normal day. It is currently 4:41, and I've done something I absolutely never do. I've spent the entire day in my PJs. And even though I keep nodding off as I study, I am in a phenomenally joyful mood! Praise the Lord!

The baking couldn't stop there, however, because at lunchtime, I got hungry for some good, yummy eats.

Broiled...

then boiled:

Then baked!

And I should have taken a picture of them cut open, steamy, smothered in cream cheese, and piled high with peach apricot jam, which, after eating, I washed down with homemade fruit iced tea. Oh-so-very-yummm. Bagels, anyone?

And more studying. And PJs, and time in the Word of God. Oh! This IS a happy day!

Love you all,

In His Royal Service,

Sheila

Feminism vs. Femininity

2011-04-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Myself and Elina, another beautiful woman of God.

So this is sort of a freewrite for an essay I'm doing for uni, except that I think it should be posted here, so it crosses actual freewrite definition, since this has a designated audience. Regardless!

Here I am, trying to respond, critique, whatever, this essay entitled 'Why am I a Feminist?'. I'm not, by the way, but hopefully you've seen that by now. It's just that I've spent so much time recently reading and listening to wise followers of Jesus elaborating on the Godly and Biblical models of womanhood (in relation to the Biblical model for manhood), and it's so amazingly beautiful, that when I read an essay like this one and begin to try to respond, to find quotes and sources to incorporate, that I just can't do it without talking about Biblical womanhood! I've tried. I've tried cutting quotes and just using logic, but you can't say "women should submit to their husbands" without saying "the way the church is supposed to submit to Christ.", or "husbands should care for and lead their wives" without saying "the way Jesus leads the church." The statements are so intertwined, as are the concepts. I have no way to say what I need to without speaking of my Lord.

In this essay I'm critiquing I've singled out four needs this woman puts forward: 1. a need for life, 2. a need for security, 3. a need to be recognized and cherished, and 4. a need, or rather a hunger, for power.

The first two are natural, feminine needs. The third is partly right, and that is the need to be cherished, but it was bordering on a very self-serving model, which is why I mentioned recognition as well, and the final one, is sinful nature at its best. Yes, equity, but in light of Christ's example. As Mary Kassian said in her recent post:

“Men are to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed. Ultimately, womanhood exists to help display the masterpiece of God.”

So this is where we are, ladies: Existing for God's perfect purpose. How exciting! How beautiful! How challenging to our world's ideals.

So how do I respond? Oh Lord, please help.
Sheila

Just a Little Life

2011-03-30T20:20:00.000-07:00

No... you tell me!

Hey all! I really do want to write the next post in my natural birth series. I'm itching to write it, but I also don't want to force it, and right now, life is crazy. I mean, it's a good kind of crazy, because there is lots and lots happening, and I am super busy trying to finish these university courses in 4 weeks from now, it just means that the time to just sit down and let my birthing mind go is fairly limited. So it's on the back burner.

What's new? Oh goodness. Well. A lot. But let me just let you think on that. :-)

In the next month I have exactly TWO births coming up, both home births, which is terribly exciting and wonderful and an incredible blessing, and I also have 3 final exams and a big midterm, and I have appointments and people to fellowship with and letters to write and phone calls to have and walks to go on and Scripture to read and so much LIFE to live! It's busy and exhausting. I just can't wait for May when I can read my Bible more, spend more concerted time in prayer, make more music, and diddle around with Anatomy and Physiology (it's a 6-credit course I still have a few months on). It's going to be be a good summer.

Plus baking and cooking and cleaning and organizing and lying in the grass and dreaming. I like that too.

So that's my life right now. No flashy anything, no great words of wisdom, just Sheila, working her butt off to try and get a life. :-)

Rest in the Peace of God,
He is so good.
Sheila

A Dream for Today

2011-03-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

So I recently had a dream. And it was funny, and beautiful, and I don't get it, but I like it, so I'm going to share what I can remember, before I forget it!

I remember being somewhere where it was really hot. Traveling on a bicycle, down a road, visiting someone. I liked being with that person, but I don't remember who it was. I think they might have been old, but I'm not sure. It was rustic, I was outdoors, there wasn't much civilization. It felt like summer, but it must have been the end of summer, because I remember there being dry leaves on the ground.

Coming back from wherever I was, I was with someone. A little girl, maybe 12. I remember thinking I could probably ride alongside her and not go too fast. We were so hot, but it was a beautiful, comfortable hot! She spoke of how lovely it would be when we got back to Comfort (Texas! Oh!) to feel a cool breeze. I remember saying that "You know, it might not be that much cooler there." We agreed. We entered some sort of forest, mostly deciduous, with beautiful light, and the road or path we were on was getting muddier, but it didn't seem to matter. I was wearing a striped pink shirt, I remember looking at it to see if it mattered if it got muddy.

Then we entered 'Comfort', through a big, square, wooden arch. It was more open there, but there was forest around the area. It felt like Africa or something. The heat was still oppressive, but I barely noticed. There were people around, children. I noticed several of them playing in the mud. and I just remember suddenly throwing myself in and at the mud, and it feeling so good. I was smiling, and laughing.

Then I remember looking up and seeing... someone. I have no idea who. I remember being very pleased to see them, and knowing that my muddy state was not a problem, and if anything, beautiful to them. I was filled with joy.

And that is all I remember.

Is it just me who sees that as somehow beautiful?

In Him,
Sheila

Natural Birth 101: Birth-y Words

2011-03-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the photo, Jessica!

NOTE: If you haven't seen my first post in this series , I recommend that you read it before you begin here, it 'sets the stage'. :-)

To begin at the beginning we really should set forth some guidelines as to what this is all going to look like. First off, some terms! (might as well get what may seem awkward out of the way first!)

Zygote/Embryo/Fetus/Baby: All of these terms are used (in order of development) to refer to an unborn child, however I most often just say 'baby', as I do truly believe that even a zygote (fertilized egg, not yet implanted) is already a human being with a soul and a name known by God.

Uterus: The place where the baby grows inside the Mama for approximately 9 months before entering this side of the world. It is attached to fallopian tubes (also known as oviducts) down which eggs travel from the ovaries. The baby does not grow in one's stomach (I'll never eat again...) or any such thing, but sometimes I will refer to the Mama's 'tummy'. Really though, baby grows in the uterus.

Vagina: Let's get that word out there! :-) Remember that this is the canal through which a baby is born. It is truly a marvelous thing that God has made, I mean think about it. It stretches to let a BABY pass through! The superficial layer of tissue in the vagina is stratified squamous epithelium, so it's basically like our regular skin, except not keratinized (toughened...sort of). Fantastic stuff.

Cervix: Many people don't know what this is, so if you're one of them, this is your big day! The cervix is the opening between the uterus and the vagina, and is a sphincter (circular muscle) that is shut for most of our lives. Every month it dilates (opens) just a tiny, tiny bit to let out the blood and uterine lining (this is menstruation), and then is shut the rest of the time. During pregnancy, it is sealed with a special mucus plug, which is released shortly before the baby is born. During labour (or often beginning before labour), it shifts from pointing posteriorly (back) to pointing anteriorly (forward), and dilates from 0 cm to about 10 cm, to allow the baby to pass through. In fact, this opening of the cervix is the whole point of labour!

Dilation and Effacement: Dilation is the opening of the cervix from 0cm to 1cm to 2 cm, and so on. Effacement is the thinning of the cervix. As the uterine contractions happen during labour, the muscles (and there are LOTS of them!) basically 'tug' at the cervix, slowly opening and thinning it around the baby's head (or toes, bum, or bag of waters).

Placenta: This is the baby's life source during pregnancy. The placenta is attached to the uterine wall, and is actually an organ which takes nutrients from the mother and transfers them to the growing baby for their development. Blood does not pass between the mother and baby, only nutrients. A baby can have a different blood type than the mother, and therefore you wouldn't want to mix that blood. It is the nutrients that pass through. I will explain this in more detail later.

Umbilical cord: The umbilical cord is the baby's lifeline between the placenta and its body. This is basically how a baby in utero 'breathes', gaining life-giving oxygen in its blood by going through capillaries in the placenta, and getting oxygen from the Mum's blood. Mama is breathing for two! Remember, the baby's heart is pumping, but the pulmonary circuit (the circuit where the waste-filled blood is pumped to the lungs, waste is breathed out, and blood is re-oxygenated to return to the rest of the body) is basically 'off' until the baby is born.

Labour and Birth: Obviously we will be talking about this more, but basically, as mentioned above, labour is the process of opening the cervix to let the baby through and into this world. Labour and birth have three stages. Stage 1 is the labour, Stage 2 is the birth of the baby, and Stage 3 is the birth of the placenta.

We'll leave it there for now! I might do another terms post if I feel that things are getting too snaky. :-) Next time we'll take a look at fetal development, so as to lay a foundation for what birth is supposed to look like.

Looking forward to seeing you next time,
Sheila

Natural Birth 101: An Introduction to Natural Birth

2011-03-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

Okay friends, the time has come! I am going to do a series on natural birth. I have no idea how long it will take or how many posts I'll end up doing, but there is so much good information out there, and I am super excited to share some of what I have picked up along the way over the past few years with you all. Of course, I'm not a Mum, (yet!) but I am a doula (should be certified by June!) and what's generally referred to as a 'birth junkie'. :-) I hope this series will be enjoyable to you all, and don't worry, among the birth-y posts will be my regular posts as well.

I will elaborate on the details of birth and the terms we can use to speak of its infinite beauty, but for now, let me simply explain what I mean when I speak of 'natural childbirth'.

I am a proponent of natural childbirth. What does this mean? It means that I believe birth to be a beautiful, wonderful, life-changing process designed perfectly by God, by which a new child is brought into our world. During childbirth, it is not only the baby who is born, but a family. It is not something that a Mother must endure, but something that the Mother and the Father (if possible!) do together, to bring about something incredibly good. While a birthing Mother is someone to be reckoned with, certainly, childbirth is not something done by yourself, it is a team effort. Pregnancy is not a disease, and should not be treated as such. Neither should childbirth be treated as a problem we need to fix. Pregnancy and childbirth are normal and wonderful parts of human existence.

There are unfortunate exceptions to the above scenario. Fortunately, we have the ability to help when something goes wrong, but the medical system is not needed when childbirth goes well! Unnatural childbirth can be beautiful, if one's attitude is right, but I do still believe that it should not be our first choice.

To let birth happen the way God intended is exciting, sometimes scary, sometimes painful, sometimes exhilarating, and always wonderful.

Why do I love birth so much? Because of all that I've said above, and all I will say in future posts. And why else? Because the Lord has given me a passion to see babies be born into loving environments, and to see Mothers, Fathers, and yes, families be born and be passionate about children.

Ps. 127:3 "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward."

Thanks for reading! I hope you are at least a little bit excited for the posts ahead. Learning about childbirth is exciting!

In Him,
Sheila

Gratituesday: Thank You, Jesus.

2011-03-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

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So I was just reading this morning over at Heavenly Homemakers, and I realized that I should join in and have my own little 'Gratituesday' right here. What better way to start off the second day of a challenging week but to praise the Lord for the blessings He has poured out upon my life.

This is really good. I started out today sort of dreading the next 6 weeks, and here I am trying to choose between the different beauties He has gifted me with.

1.) My family. We are human. We are not perfect. But my family here in this house loves Jesus. And each time I hear them pray and find them soaking up the Word of God, I realize how good I've got it.

Thank You, Lord.

2.) The rain. I've been struggling with this one. I'm ready for sunshine, and yet I know that the rain is a blessing too. Tiny droplets of water hanging off evergreen branches... need I say more?

Thank You, Jesus.

3.) The opportunity to learn. Again, a current challenge, and still I know it is a blessing to come away with knowledge of the world the Lord has put me in.

Thank You, God.

4.) The Word of God. I'm reading it now, and I am so, so overwhelmed with God's greatness. Thank you for your Word, Father!

Thank You, Sovereign Maker.

5, 6, 7, 8, 9, ... Thank You, Abba, Father!

Sheila

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

Today I Was a Child

2011-03-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving the house, bundled up, with a fuzzy blue scarf and my big orange sweater, my pants are jammed into my boots, but I'm happy, and my fashion sense doesn't need to be at its best. The sun was hidden by the clouds a while ago, but the rain has held off. A smile lights my heart. Soon I reach a muddy path, marveling in the footprints I leave behind and talking to my Creator. The two go hand-in-hand somehow.

There they are: the train tracks! I like walking the tracks, it makes me feel like I'm going somewhere important, like I'm guided, can never falter, and will never be lead astray. So akin to my life in Christ. I'm talking freely now, about my life, about the love and joy and pain and struggles and inexpressible goodness in it: the bounty of the Lord. I'm praying, offering whatever is in my heart to the Lord and asking for new joy.

Up ahead is what I was looking for, a bridge that is tall and strong, spanning a forest that I can pretend is infinite. At the middle of the bridge I pause, crawling carefully to the edge and laughing. Sitting there for a minute, I am overcome by the greatness of Jesus, and so I begin to sing to Him, out over the wide space below and the rushing water flowing in little ripples. Again, laughter escapes my lips.

Excitedly talking and exploring and creating and imagining, my life continues. I feel like a little child. It's a beautiful feeling.

Sheila

Christ is Sufficient

2011-03-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking on this the past few days. On Tuesday, someone reminded me that I am God's girl. For me in that moment, that said "God is enfolding me in His care, and He is enough." In the minutes that followed, I had a beautiful revelation. This past summer, in Texas, when it was hot, and I was tired, I often took my pen and wrote on my arm to remind me of this truth of the sufficiency found in Christ. When I am not enough, He sustains me. When I cannot proceed, He enables me.

Let's take a peek...

Okay, here's me, suiting someone up for the leap of faith. Note the sunburnt arms. :-P Now let's flip the picture and zoom in on my arm.

Look carefully. Do you see it? Christ is sufficient. Jesus is enough. The Lord will sustain me.

Colossians 2:10 "And in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority."

Is that not comforting? Christ is sufficient, dear friends!

One Month Recap!

2011-03-01T17:29:00.000-08:00

Looks like it was a one-month hiatus. :-)

The plan is to post bi-weekly, and if it turns out to be more, fantastic. I just feel like I should get some of my tiny thoughts out there. You know, the ones that aren't quite right for Raised from the Dust, and the ones that need to be shared and can't just be put in my journal. Who knows what God will do! I have a few mini-post ideas, so I'll just start there.

I must say one thing... a lot has happened in the past month. As far as I can see, all good, God-glorifying things, but plenty, and surprising at that! I feel that God has a beautiful sense of humour, and is simply working in my heart and mind and life, daily moulding me into His likeness, even if I do kick and scream about it sometimes.

1.) I took the first two midterms of my life last week!

2.) I now know the names of most of the bones of the body and many of their condyles, fissures, foramen, etc. Somehow this makes me happy enough to put it in my 'things that happened this month' list. I can't wait for muscles!

3.) My friend Mariah and her husband Tyler had their first baby!

4.) I got and lost 2 doula clients... sad day. Fortunately not my fault.

5.) I have a lot of thoughts about the future. They... are thoughts. About the future.

6.) We enjoyed sunshine AND snow... somehow that made the month seem longer, like 2 or 3 seasons.

7.) And... something else. That I'm not going to tell you yet. :-)

God is good, my friends, even in the wildest storms.
Sheila

Tarrah!

2011-02-01T16:41:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone!

I'm taking an AIICH hiatus. Short or long, I have no idea. :-) If you want to see my blogging-ness, please visit one of these lovely places:

www.raisedfromthedust.blogspot.com (My Mum and I on our Compassion Adventure)

InChristsHands on Twitter. :-)

Or, of course, you can sponsor a child through Compassion (or just be interested!) and join www.ourcompassion.org, and shoot me an email and I'll connect up with you on there!

Adieu for now!
In Christ,
Sheila

A Rose, One Day...

2011-01-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

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I don't want romantic love right now. I'm not even sort of looking for it. And that's just as well, because it's not coming my way right now, but you know those little 'heart-jump' moments? Those moments when you bump into some stranger's wedding photos on facebook, and your heart just melts for a moment? Their day seems so normal, so beautiful, so simple. Or when you hear someone say "I love you girl", and you dream of the time someone else says it to you with such passion?

Those are the moments that I long to be held, to be cherished, to be led. For a brief moment, my mind starts calling people and asking them to fly in to be my bridesmaids. For a second, I see an array of white dresses in a mirror. Just a glimpse of what might be... one day.

Yet I know I'm held. I know I'm cherished. I know I'm led. By an infinite God, a Saviour who is my bridegroom as I am part of the bride of Christ.

He is good.

The weeks fly by

2011-01-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

Yes, they do, and here we are celebrating the 15 day mark since the last post on this blog. I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean exactly, except that I've been studying hard and trying to figure out how to work this whole university-at-home thing. :-)

God has been so faithful to me. As Compassion (Compassion USA) advocates, my Mum and I put on our first small presentation this past Monday, with the wonderful result of at least 4 children sponsored in the Dominican Republic. What a blessing! God is good.

Because I'm so busy, this blog is mostly dead. Also, because I'm never exactly sure what to post. I suppose that's the unfortunate way with un-themed, personal blogs.

Feel free to follow me on Twitter: InChristsHands if you for some odd reason miss my postings. (Not that they have been particularly frequent any time in the past year. ;-)

God bless,
Sheila

Freewrite #1 - "About Sheila"

2011-01-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

Note: I'm taking an English course, and they encourage me to freewrite as a pre-writing strategy. I think I'm going to put (most of) my freewrites on here, just because I find them interesting, and you might too. :-) Don't worry, other things coming soon.

This is a freewrite, in which I let my mind go a little bit, and let the circles and waves and continuous lines of eternity spin through my head. I know that my mind is there, but I'm just letting it fly by the wayside a little bit right now. I need to talk about myself, and yet this is freewriting, how do I freewrite about a topic? I am unsure of this, and yet I realize I should not be unsure, this is about certainty, about relaxing, about waves and triangles and circles... or is it about triangles? Perhaps they are too pointy. SO I write about me, about music, about birth... I almost wrote a 'b' first, does that mean birth really comes first in my thoughts, but that I feel I should put music first still? So much has happened this past year, and I want to introduce it all. I know that, my life would not be the same if it were not for the influence, no the prominence... no, the preeminence of my great God, and that is something huge about me. I also know that my life would be different indeed if not for the beauty of babies and birth, and those marvelous round bellies that babies come from. Is that where babies come from? Or are they simply gifts from the hand of God? I don't know... I don't know anything, but God knows. I want to not stop writing, but there is this thing inside me that tries to stop, to fix mistakes, to think through things, and yet I'm trying not to think, just to flow, just to write, just to write freely. Is this achievable in this day and age? Where everyone whirs with business and conglomerations of things so often that I cannot breathe nor hear my own thoughts for all the hubbub? I suppose that means I am a girl of the air, a floating girl, not tied to what the world around me thingks. I consider myself free-spirited, like this writing, and yet bound by the ordinances of God. Is that possible? I think so. I think, I think... I don't want to think. I want to be. What is interrubption? Is it something I should be agitated about? Or not? I find also, that my personality conveys this feeling of agitation sometimes. I don't know. But I know this... grass is beautiful, and so are bare feet, and wind, and rain, and sunshine. God is good.

Hugs,
Sheila

Babies and Neurons

2010-12-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

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My world is full of babies and neurons. And Jesus. Always Jesus. :-)

Biology is fascinating, from amino acids, to neurons, to small intestines, and yes, umbilical cords. It's the fetal side of the placenta, so-to-speak, that keep me going. While biology in all it's wonder, really is fascinating, I would collapse from mental exhaustion if it wasn't for the knowledge that bringing healthy babies to glowing mothers is part of the end goal. And, of course, to see things like the the one in the picture above, growing where they are supposed to, until they come out, wiggling and pink.

Tell me, do these things excite YOU?

Hugs,

Sheila

Christmas... the Birth of a King

2010-12-03T11:12:00.000-08:00

The Christmas season... what can I say? It's here again! How did that happen? This year has been one of beautiful growth, and wretched stretching and being broken down, again and again, to see my small-ness. As I study Biology, and read books on birth, learning my role as a doula, and looking ahead to my role as a midwife, I see the beauty of Jesus birth.

I've heard it said that birth is traumatic. It can be, but it's not supposed to be, for Mum or the baby, and as I think of Jesus birth, in a quiet stable, surrounded by the creation He so lovingly created, I think of the greatness of His wisdom, to choose to come into the world as a human in such a non-invasive way. Certainly, as the above picture depicts, Mary was helped by a caring midwife and her servant, as was the practice in that day, and the small Jesus child was cleaned and cared for by these learned women in conjunction with His new, and very tired mother.

It must have been a quiet birth. Young Mary, tired from her journey, resting between the contractions, gentle Joseph, in wonder at what was taking place, knowing this was God's child being born. How perfect, and how marvelous!

Have you ever held a newborn baby? Their skin is soft and damp, their eyes, alert, yet drooping, as they slip into sleep. Their dependency is unprecedented. God became that for us. He came into this world beautifully, yet in a form that left Him helpless, but His Father knew all that. His Father had a plan. His Father had a plan for our salvation, and His Father has a plan... for you.

Hugs,

Sheila

Learn more about ancient midwifery, and on Dec. 16, 2009, a more accurate nativity, here

Learn more about the reason Jesus was born here

Many words that begin with 'B' and other interesting things...

2010-11-24T17:27:00.000-08:00

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Finally, a post just about my life. :-) About time, hey?

Frankly, after reading so many blogs by Mommies with babies and people writing books and pastors in cities with similar weather to here, I have to think for a moment what it means to be living my life, and what I should say about it. I mean really, we get so used to our own lives that I think we don't often really think about what's going on. At least, that's how it can get for me.

Here at my house, there has been a lot of baking, a lot of biology, a lot of books about bellies and birth and babies and much boiled water for hot water bottles. (and many other things that begin with b that are slightly less exciting, like brains and blankets and bananas. I'm sure I could think of more! :-P ) It's cold! The hot water bottle has been especially comforting! In the past few days we've gotten a good 6 inches of snow, which is a lot for Vancouver Island, especially this early in the winter, and actually I suppose it's still fall. This has given way to much shoveling and sore backs, but it just makes me all the more grateful to the Lord that He has given us just a short time on this earth. Also a good reminder to be praying for and actively witnessing to the lost. (!!!)

I could yak about Biology, as it takes up most of my days, but honestly, I spend so much time thinking about cells and diffusion and osmosis and endoplasmic reticulum and osmotic pressure and eukaryotes vs. prokaryotes and seeing lots of words that Microsoft Word thinks aren't real words, that I'd rather not expend myself too much with telling you all about it. Many of you have done high school Biology, I'm sure. Biology 12. That's all I need say. :-D

Also, my Mum and I have been doing a bit more research on what Compassion International (and Canada) is doing, and I must say, I'm really impressed, and humbled. We've sponsored children through Compassion for years now, but I never really saw the scope of it all. As we as a family try to scale down our spending, we're hoping to be able to sponsor a little girl as well as the little boy we sponsor, and are rather excited about the opportunity. It's really special. This is something that is literally releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name! Amazing stuff.

So, with that, I'll head back to my biological world and hope to see you all soon,
Lots of love and hugs,
Sheila

Bellies and Babies... so perfect.

2010-11-18T20:45:00.001-08:00

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Birth. It is why I'm doing what I'm doing, and the more I think about it, the more astounded I am at the beauty of how God brings babies into this world. Beautiful, natural, perfect... like sparkles in bubbles. I realize that this is an ideal image of birth, and that for many women it hurts a lot, and there are certainly moments in labour that seem anything from sparkly, but these moments, to me, do not demonstrate anything bad, but only a strength and power and majesty that is unequaled anywhere else!

Most people aren't quite as enamoured with birth as I am, but hear me out. :-) I plan to love it for my entire life, and I'm pouring all my time and everything into this process, so I'm pretty excited! Oh, the opportunities that the Lord will provide through this marvelous venue! To provide a safe and beautiful birth for every mother is my dream.

How possible is this? It isn't, in a fallen world, but look. There are babies. That is enough. See their glowing eyes, and their little fingers, and tell me, is that not miracle enough? In the midst of that gurgling child is a perfect picture of what God wanted for us. His plan is perfect.

In a few months time, I'll be a certified doula. God willing, in 5 1/2 years, I'll be a midwife! Oh, the things that God has done and will do!

Bellies... and babies.

Hugs,

Sheila

That Flinger of the Stars!

2010-11-15T21:04:00.000-08:00

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Today my message is simple. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, and you have chosen to surrender to Him, and follow this which seems so totally unconventional to humanity, the Creator of the universe dwells in the tabernacle of your heart.

Doesn't that just blow your mind? I know it seems crazy, but those hands that gently placed each star in their perfect, rapturous, rumbling glory work in your heart, molding it each day to be more like His. Those eyes that looked into nothing and said "Let there be light!" and saw it, they see you, in your nothingness, and long to make light out of you. The feet that walked Israel, and then were bloodied for your sins, they stand in your life, solidly, walking alongside you. His arms, so strong, that wrought fantastic carpentry, and also moved to show the first man out of His exquisite masterpiece of a garden, they hold you closely, tightly, gently.

Are you not taken aback? For me, it makes me almost want to cry, for the number of times, just today, that I have been impatient, or unwilling to listen, stubborn to learn, to grow, to accept His peace, or say the words I was supposed to. If those hands, those feet, those eyes and arms are at work in my life, who am I to turn away, shoving His omnipotence into the darkest corner of my life? I am no one.

Yet I am someone, because I have been chosen as His heir. I am His son. I am His masterpiece, even though I have broken my own glass, my own frame, and chosen to jump off the nail He so carefully hung me from, crashing my being into the hard, damp floor. But His glue mends all things, and makes me clean and new again. His life makes all things new again. His life can make you new again, if you aren't yet, too. And if you are, He wants to remind you of that.

That Creator of the universe, that Flinger of the stars, that Rocker of the cradle.

He loves you.

Sheila

Oh Biology...

2010-11-10T12:07:00.000-08:00

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I do intend to write more about life, but right now, my head is plunged into the depths of biology... which is life I suppose. Perhaps tonight?

See you soon,

Sheila

What Biology, Apple Crisp, Laundry, and Babies Have in Common!

2010-11-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

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Life. It is this great wandering, vast expanse that stretches behind and before me. It is the richness of what it is to exist in Christ. It is so good, even if it is hard. My life is studded with gems: beautiful memories of the past, and exciting memories of the future. (There needs to be a word for that. It's a terrible lexical gap our language has. I want to express abstracts! ;-)

As of today, I am registered for full-time university courses at Athabasca University, starting January 1st. I've got two Biology courses, an English course, and a Health studies course! I'll be doing it all at home, but getting full credits just like anybody else. Come 2012, I will (God willing) be going off to university somewhere else, enrolled in a Bachelor of Midwifery program! Needless to say, I am beyond excited.

I'm finishing up an upgrade on my high school Biology (which was basically nil since I studied music so exclusively) and taking some workshops and courses to get my birth doula training through DONA (Doulas of North America), and it's so thrilling! It's hard work, but it's wonderful. My schedule is so different from anything it has been in the past year. I get up in the morning and dress in a way that pleases the Lord, spending time with Him in His Word and in prayer, and enjoy breakfast with my family. Then I begin studying, and do so for several hours, breaking only for hugs and tea and worthwhile discussions. The studies, too are so fascinating! I never thought I would enjoy cell biology, but it is amazingly interesting.

Going for runs, making apple crisp, sewing random things, doing laundry, reading books on birth, and crocheting fill up the spaces in between all the other work, and I love it. I feel productive, for once! I feel pretty, and like I am living a life that honours the Lord. I know there will be challenges, and goodness, even today there were some, but it is a good life, and it has purpose. To see where He leads me in ministry this coming year will be tremendous indeed!

Oh Lord, you are beautiful!

Sheila

Starting out Fresh

2010-11-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm home. At home. For a good, long while! :-) I'm home and in the will of God, about to get started on university courses through Athabasca University. It's going to be exciting.

On this new journey, I hope to be blogging weekly or perhaps even more, and writing about what the Lord is doing in my life and the adventures He brings me through. Now... let's start fresh!

I look forward to seeing you around.
Hugs,
Sheila

A New Adventure!

2010-09-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Today I head back to Capernwray!

The past week has been an exciting one, what with career path changes, and choosing universities for next year, but today is special. Today I'm heading into a new adventure.

I was going to write lots, but you know, I'm just going to leave it there. God is good. I can't wait to learn what it is He wants to teach me!

In Him,

Sheila

An Amusing Look at Me and ADD

2010-09-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

^^ That's me on the tower in Texas, btw. :-)

Hey World!

I just thought I'd share an amusing anecdote, rather than posting something pithy today. :-) Personally, I believe that 'ADD' and 'ADHD' are, to some extent myths. I don't deny the symptoms or that challenge of working with them in today's culture and western society, but I do believe it to be, in most cases, (though not all) a presentation simply of a kind of personality. Because I was never in the public school system, I was never tested for ADD or ADHD, however I've long suspected I would be tagged as such. I still have never been tested, but after studying for school all day long today, and noting for the umpteenth time the random fidgity habits I've always had, I thought it would be fun to take an online ADD test. So I did. Let me list some of the items...

21. My thoughts bounce around as if my mind is a pinball machine.

I thought this was rather funny. It's true, too! My head is constantly busy, and it's made it hard for me to get to sleep for my entire life. I just can't shut my brain off! Somehow seeing it written out and realising that other people have pinball brains makes me feel better.

22. My brain feels as if it is a television set with all the channels going at once.

Or, as I described it earlier today, like a web browser with 20 different tabs open, and I just can't pick which one to look at!

23. I am unable to stop daydreaming.

Oh yes. And I admit, I love my daydreams. :-)

18. Even when sitting quietly, I am usually moving my hands or feet.

Always. No exceptions. My toes are always moving, and so sometimes I try to stop them, but invariably, 30 seconds later, I find my fingers tapping, or my legg wiggling. There is no hope. :-P

15. In conversations, I start to answer questions before the questions have been fully asked.

Haha... yes.

So in summary, I was simply amused. Apparently there must be lots of people out there who study for 10 minutes only to get up, wander around, and return to studying for another 10 minutes, after which they will check their email, and return to studying for 10 minutes, after which they will start doodling, and return to studying... yesssiree! That's me. :-D

Hugs,
Sheila

His Great Grandeur Shown

2010-09-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

7:16am, I'm out of bed. Washed my face, and pulled on my running clothes, found my Bible, and had a wonderful time reading Romans, praying, and writing about what God is doing in my life. It is so refreshing to spend time with the Lord! Finally, I pulled on my runners and slipped out the front door into the cool, crisp, morning, dripping with sunshine and beauty. I ran. It felt so good to run. I felt like I was shedding something, and running out of some sort of bubble of self-centered belly-button gazing. I'm glad God made me with two legs.

I ran 7 minutes and 16 seconds. Into this. (above) 7m16s to the edge of the island. 7m16s to a tiny glimpse of the perfection that God created this world with. 7m16s to sheer glory. Honestly, without standing there on those rocks and being able to turn 360* and see nothing but beauty and perfection, you have no idea. At first I thought there was a jet flying overhead. After 5 minutes, my jet still sounded loud and near. Except it wasn't a jet. It was the ocean.

You can't see it in these photos, because they were taken by me some time ago at a similar morning hour at the same beach, but this morning, the wind made the waves ferocious and the whitecaps great. The water seemed to reflect the wrath and fury and the gentle peace of our great Creator God. The analogy was amazing.

I ran home, in awe. Right now, my future is blurry. After this year at Bible school, almost anything could happen. And so I say, thank you God, for proving your worthiness. Thank you, Lord, that I can trust you. Thank you Father, that you are the Lord of perfection.

Shortly, my Dad and I are going to visit Cathedral Grove. I know, once again, I will be fascinated by God's great grandeur. His forests are amazing too.

Hugs,
In Christ,
Sheila

Home

2010-08-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

Hello again,

I'm here, in Canada once again, in the house I've lived in for many years, but I've decided it's home in name only. There are too many earthly places I could call home. My home is in Jesus, for it is the only place I will never have to leave, and it is only there I will never be lonely or missing anything. Right now, my heart hurts. For the first time since I returned back to this place 24 hours ago, I really miss Texas. I really miss the blessings the LORD gave me while I was there. I miss my friends. Continually I am in awe of what the LORD is doing right now, in this moment, whatever moment that might be. He is so sovereign and it is such a comfort.

I was thinking about how to sum up my summer, and I honestly don't know. Right now I'm riding the emotions of it all pretty strongly. It's hard to even find words. One week ago today I was going out to dinner with all the summer staff, and watching friends run around like little kids in a candy shop. The end of the summer was so crazy! :-) And then we went on the bus on the way home, (I keep using that word, and of different places... this one means back to camp) and the light was beautiful, and the fields were beautiful, and it was all just... beautiful.

Honestly, I have no words. So I'll quote some of my own from my journal from July 13, 2010

"His Hill, TX: It's been absolutely forever since I've written, but I've wanted to for a while. God has been so good to me here, and has taught me so much, it's insane. He is working in me for humility, submission, surrender, patience, servanthood, and so much more. Believe me, camp has been one of the most difficult things I've ver done, and in fact, I'm totally incapable of doing any of it, but the LORD is, as evidenced by the fact that it's high school week already and I've been here 7 1/2 weeks. god is so faithful through all of these crazy daily challenges and struggles. I have no right to be happy right to be happy right now, but I am. There have been plenty of not-so-happy moments, but without hard times I would never learn to rely on the LORD. And now, I have been through friendlessness, horrible campers who hated me, wonderful campers who were still very challenging, tensions, hurts, fears, crying, various struggles with people, battles with Jesus for control of my life, worries, frustrations, utter exhaustion, and a host of other things. On the joyful side; ice cream, late nights, learning tower, new friends, new hugs, sweet appreciation from campers, music, songs, new joy in the LORD, excitmement to spend time in the Word, and lots and lots and lots of oreos. god is so good, and I want to write more, but it's 1am, and my high school campers and myself must sleep. Love in Christ, Sheila"

And that's all I'll write for now. More to some soon.

Hugs,
Love in Christ,
Sheila

I'm alive and kicking!

2010-07-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I'm still alive, in Texas, and surrounded by wonderful friends. God is good. He is teaching me tons, and I am continually blessed. Just 2 more weeks! Bittersweet like crazy.

*HUGS*
Sheila Christine

Hello World!

2010-07-24T10:45:00.000-07:00

Just popping by to say Hi! The background is changed because the other one died. This isn't my favourite background ever, but it was the first one I found and sort of liked, and I don't feel like working on it right now. So... another time. :-) Anyway, all is well, I'm exhausted, and I went to bed at 3am last night. :-D Camp has been so ridiculously hard, but right now I feel amazingly happy. First off, I was up until 3am drinking hot chocolate and squirting reddi-whip into my mouth with three amazing FRIENDS. And it was just all silliness, although that was fun too. We talked about God and life and home and people in our lives and it was just good. It's so amazing that God has blessed me in this way, and I know leaving here is going to be crazily sad. I'm almost ready to be done with camp, but I don't want to leave these people. Having to work together in such a stressful job as volunteers with hundreds and hundreds of children around all the time, and being forced to work out difficult situations makes you come together in this bond of unity in the body of Christ that is unprecedented. God is good.

That's it!
Hugs,
Sheila

Texas!!!

2010-07-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

I have no idea if anyone reads this blog anymore, however I'm going to post just for fun. Plus a couple Texas pictures for 'y'all'. ;-)

Working at the Tower! This is belaying, and it's pretty amazing.

Apple eating during staff training!

So yes, work here at His Hill is challenging to say the least, but God has blessed me enormously with His love and generosity in the form of the fact that I am still surviving and that I still love Him, and that I actually have friends I can look at for once in... eons, I don't know. Not going to post much, I'm with people and enjoying their company.

Hugs and love in Christ!

Sheila

A quick update...

2010-06-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!

Here I am in Texas, online for the first time since I got here 2 weeks ago! If I had pictures for you, I'd post them, but I don't. However, you can imagine a really beautiful, green, lush, very hot, humid, bug-ridden place with a stupendously pretty river (the Guadalupe), and a whole host of interesting people. :-) God is good. Fortunately, He doesn't make it an easy ride, because that's how I actually learn things and grow in my faith.

Yesterday we went on 5-ish mile canoe and kayak trip down the river, followed by burgers and a lovely picnic-y atmosphere. It was a physically challenging trip, but it was a lot of fun, too. I've been trained on the tower, which has a climbing wall, two ziplines (20 and 30 ft), two rappelling walls (20 and 40 ft), the leap of faith (you're hooked in and have to climb up a 30 foot pole and jump and catch a trapeze. Yeah.), and the screamer (a really really giant swing thing. It's awesome!), So, I'm trained to belay and send people off all of those, and I'm also trained on the low elements courses, and got my lifeguard certificate for the USA, which is kind of fun (I challenged the course, since I'm a lifeguard in Canada), and I'm also trained on the canoeing activity. It's exciting. And kind of scary.

As of today, my Mum is flying to Honduras for 3 weeks, so you can be praying for her. It's a mission trip, and she's kind of nervous too. We could both use a lot of prayer, I believe. :-)

Yeah, the LORD is stretching me in this particular moment. But it's good.

Hugs and bubbles,
In Christ,
Sheila

Heading off Into the Unkown... but God is God. Yay!

2010-05-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

So! Tomorrow I'm leaving here, and Sunday I fly to Texas. I think I'm all packed. I think everything is together. I think my life is in order. I think my bags are all packed. I think I am ready. But who knows, really? I'm just human, Fortunately, God is God. I'm so very glad. :-)

I feel a bit crazed, I don't feel very together, and I really have no idea what I'm doing, but God does. And God is God. Whew!

In just a few short days, I will be spending time with new people. I will be making new friends. I will be challenged by very trying situations. I will be overjoyed and the amazing things God will do. God is God. He is in control.

Please be praying for me as I head out on this new adventure. I know that this is where the LORD wants me, and that He will guide me through every moment of it, no matter what happens.

I love you Jesus!

Hugs,
Sheila

God is Faithful

2010-05-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Even when it seems impossible. Even when I'm not. Even when there is. no. hope. Even when the sun is beating down and drowning out all possibility of life. He is faithful. Our God is faithful. He is faithful!

What a promise. That seems to be the lesson the LORD has for me today, first this morning at church, and again this afternoon, and through the movie we watched this evening. (Faith Like Potatoes, a Christian film, and worth watching) I'm sure that if I picked up my Bible right now, that would be what He would speak to me about. At least, I think so. Sometimes he throws in stuff I would never expect. That's the awesome part about God. He does the unexpected. He fills needs in totally ridiculous, wonderful ways. He is faithful. How else can I say it? I mean, He is sovereign over all creation, I have nothing to do with His infinity.

It seems obvious and trivial to say that I have nothing to do with God's infinity, after all, He's God, and He's infinite. Still, it's not so plain as it may seem. I am the kind of person that likes to be in control. I like to be in control of myself, of my life, of the situations I'm in, of the friends I have, of the conversations I am in, of the places I go, but I am finite. I can only make choices and act within them. The question is, will I make choices that fall within the will of the sovereign God who is infinite, and knows the world perfectly, for He made it, and understands his infinite plans infinitely? Will I?

Will I excercise the faith that He has given me, so that my faith is trust and belief? That is the raw question, for I understand--at least in my head--the nature of God, but I must make a decision whether or not to let my sinful nature be conformed to His perfect, sinless one. I am a sinful being, and God is not. That is a crazy statement. It's very true, of course, but it's also very radical and unheard of in this society. It's not something people like to think over to go to sleep.

I am choosing today, to follow Him, to trust Him, to believe Him, to put my faith in Him. For He is faithful. He is LORD. He is my Father.

Abba! Father!

"But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." (2 Thess. 3:3)

Gentle Life

2010-05-12T15:12:00.000-07:00

(Daffodils at Capernwray)

Trying to blog a bit more while I'm home...

I have so much little stuff going on that sometimes it's hard to stop and really realise how beautiful life is. This short time at home is my most gentle time all summer! All year, actually. I'm really enjoying the time to just go for tea with my Mum and go shopping at the thrift store. It's a good time.

I know there must be some people reading, so I ask you all: What's new? What is God doing in your life? What is sparking your imagination?

I miss my Capernwray friends! It's also amazing to think I'll miss the next ones just as much. The LORD never lets us down. Even when it seems ridiculous and terrible things come up, He is always there. He shows me the perfect flowers, and the beauty in a cold, cold day. He shows me the incredible wonder in a drop of dew. And then I'm usually the one who ignores that wonder that is handed to me on a silver platter. That's when I go and complain about how miserable I am.

Who am I to complain?

Ten-thousand hugs in tiny, sparkling bubbles,

In Christ,

Sheila

Home again

2010-05-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!

I'm home again, though just for a couple short weeks, as I'll be heading to Texas for the summer quite soon. Regardless, here I am. :-)

(Roomies)

God is totally blowing my mind. No matter what I do, or where I go, He is evidenced in everything. Prayers are answered, provision comes, and I look out the window and see sunshine, flowers, and a beautiful breeze. God is good!

I'm still not sure I totally understand myself, but I'm afraid my days of blogging over the mystery of me, are over. I am no longer concerned about understanding myself, because I know that God does. The topic of ME has become uninteresting. That's a good thing and right and well, I suppose, but it makes me pause and really think as to what to write. I could write about God's grace and mercy and sovereignty, but I have no words. It is far beyond my scope of understanding.

Coming home from Bible school has been the most emotionally intense and the most emotionally simple thing I've ever done. I felt in one way like my heart was being ripped out, so deep was the pain of leaving the people who had become my family. Yet still, I felt a complete peace, knowing that these people belong to the Body of Christ. It is such a comfort! In that way it was simple. Right now, at home, I'm in a relative lull from ups or downs, but I know that once I hit Texas, it will be very, very challenging, and also, quite likely rewarding, at least inside.

I know that whatever is ahead, God's plans are perfect.

In Christ,
Sheila

Hey!

2010-04-21T13:25:00.000-07:00

Hello, Sheila-the-18-year-old here! Crazy beans, hey? Where did those 18 years go?

I'm taking the day off for 'work day' today, as my tendonitis has flared up a bit due to excessive flute work for youth retreat this weekend. I don't have much to say, it's almost as though there's too much on my mind to write about it. I sounds crazy, I know. Maybe my head's just a little 'clogged'. :-)

God's been teaching me a lot, and in all areas of my life, really. The crazy thing is, though, that Bible School ends in exactly 2 weeks. WOAH!!! This weekend, as I already mentioned, we are hosting a youth retreat, so that should be pretty exciting. We've been busy preparing music and dances and skits and painting cardboard decorations and whatnot. The theme is 'multicultural', so there's a lot happening!

My room is 'Cameroon' for youth retreat, so I've spent the last hour and a bit researching and reading about the country, and it's an interesting reminder how big this world is. I knew nothing about Cameroon before this. Interesting opportunities, I tell you.

Anyway, I really can't think to say a lot, so I'll just opt out.

Hugs!
Love in Christ,
Sheila

PS. I have pictures of Temple Tours from last weekend in Vancouver, but I can't get them to load up. Hopefully soon! S.

A Day to Contemplate

2010-04-02T14:32:00.001-07:00

Hello World,

Today is Good Friday. The weather is wet and cold, and rainy and
gloomy, and I just feel like the world knows that today represents the
day Jesus died. To me, it is mind-boggling to really contemplate
that. Jesus DIED! God incarnate DIED! It's so huge, it's almost
impossible to wrap one's brain around. I wish more peope would just
sit and think about this today, and that is my challenge to you. Do
you see it? Go outside and experience the sovereignty the Lord has
over creation. Feel the wind, watch the water, let the rain run down
your face, admire the sun and its warmth. He is sovereign over
creation. He is sovereign over death. He is sovereign over life!

And that right there is the beauty of Jesus death: He rose again!!!
I intend to write on Sunday as well, but if I don't, I also challenge
you to set aside Sunday as a day to really contemplate the fact that
Jesus is alive! He died for you and me, because that is the penalty
we deserve, and still He rose again and lives today. That is just...
yeah. Mind-boggling.

God is good.

Thank you Jesus!

Hugs,
Sheila

Back at Capernwray!

2010-03-30T18:35:00.001-07:00

Hello friends!

I said I would attempt to blog more frequently from school, so here I am! Unfortunately, I'll have to revert to the old days and pictureless blogging, as I can't really access pictures here. Technology is far from perfect!

That being said, coming back to Capernwray has been fabulous, and I'm looking forward to all the adventures I will have in the last 6 weeks of school now. Frankly, while I'm doing my best to treasure these last few weeks, and I know it's all wonderful stuff, I'm also kind of starting to be anxious for it to be over, because I have so many exciting things what with Texas this summer and everything. On the other hand, I know that each and every moment is to be cherished, and time should never be rushed. Crazy stuff.

Just for today's classes, we had a guy who does a lot of voice acting come in a teach some classes on 'Entertainment and the Meaning of Life', which is fascinating beyond belief, not to mention hugely entertaining. It's a good reminder to understand th cultural context in which we live, and to really properly comprehend our audience when we go out into the world to be 'witnesses'. It's a big responsibility, yet somehow God has given it to us. Also crazy stuff!

In any case, this keyboard is stiff, and my arms hurt, so I'm going to sign off. Lots of hugs and love in Christ to you all!

Sheila

Woah Life!

2010-03-27T18:13:00.000-07:00

Good gracious, life!

You know those times when nothing really all that interesting is happening but you just have to suddenly stop, tug on the reins a bit, and say "WHOA LIFE!!!" This past little while has been like that. I'm in this really weird stage of transition, in life. Well, the past few years have been like that really, but, yeah. Now it's just right. I've been away from home now for a couple months, and now being home, we all keep mixing up the names of where I'm am and where I've been. Talk of going back to school, becomes 'going home', and yet, it's all mixed up. I don't mind, really, but it's kind of hitting me like a brick, that while, yes, I'll be home most of next school year, this is only sort of home. There are other places where I live sometimes, and right now, one of them is Bible School.

Oh yeah, and then there's stuff like income tax forms, insurance, letters, mail to attend to, errands, buying necessary clothes and things...

etc., etc., etc., etc., ETC., ETC.!!!

So yeah. Oh! And Texas! This summer I'm going to be working at a camp in Texas, of all places, as a counselor, for 2 1/2 months. Crazy stuff. See, my school is part of Torchbearers (Oh for goodness sake, Sheila; This is my school: http://www.capernwray.ca/ ), and Torchbearers has about 26 schools around the world. His Hill is one of them. We often have lecturers in from the various schools, and we had the director of His Hill, who spoke at the end of his time there about their summer camp programs. For their volunteer camp workers, they basically only take people who have attended school at one of the Torchbearers' Centres the year before. I fit the bill!

(Whaa? I edited this pic, but it won't stay edited. Blarg.)

I really felt the conviction of the Lord that this was what I was supposed to do with my summer, even though I had very different plans, mostly to do with music and earning money, but God saw fit for me to go to Texas. The flights are booked! I'm getting excited. I know the Lord has a lot to teach me through this experience.

WOAH LIFE!!!

Crazy beans.

Totally awesome and mind-blowing stuff, really. So I am growing/have grown up! And yet still growing in Christ. That will never stop, and I'm so glad. :-)

Stupendousness.

Hurray for the Joy of the Lord!

Sheila

Spring Break Bubbles

2010-03-26T00:13:00.000-07:00

I realise that perhaps this spring break would have been a great opportunity to blog a lot, but really, I've been rather busy, and at no time in the near future will I have extra time to blog, nor easy access the the internet, so I figure I don't even need to try to build up a readership! Ah well, life has been blessed and full the past couple weeks. I have had some amazing growing times, really, and so I'm going to split this post up into categories! Here goes!

1.) Cool material stuff! I got my (early) birthday present from my parents!!! They contributed to buying me...wait for it... a guitar!!! I've been thinking on it for quite a while, and I think that while I love classical guitar, I'd just like to be able to strum a few chords to play for worship songs or a bit of campfire music. Should be a blast, I've already got a few chords down, and some Swiss stickers on my guitar case. What a pro, hey?

Also, I really love thrift stores. Seriously! I need some shorts for Texas (uh... have I mentioned Texas yet? No? Well... next post?), so I went to the thrift store and picked up a few pairs for UBER cheap, and low and behold, I now have nice, preshrunk, environmentally friendly, cheap, used shorts! Woohoo!

2.) Cool God stuff! I've had some amazing things happen with what God has been teaching me lately. I won't go into everything in detail, but I've been given some absolutely incredible opportunities and experiences with people and so on, and God has really been working. Incredible stuff. The amazing thing is I'm feeling a bit like Jeremiah, because I have absolutely no clue if any of this stuff will ever bear fruit, and for most of it, I'll never know, but I know God knows, and all I want to do is be available to be an instrument in Christ's Hands. :-)

3.) Cool family stuff! Just had some wonderful chats with my Mum, and I'm feeling really blessed to have someone like her to talk to about relationship with Jesus, life, and whatnot. God is good. I also went out for dinner with my Dad tonight, and it was so worth it. I'm really happy to be getting our relationship back on track. God is gracious!

4.) Cool friend stuff! I've had the opportunity to get together with some friends while I've been here! I've seen my good freind Mary (the one with adorable babies!), several times, and enjoyed great soul-sharing, which has been oh-so-encouraging. Also, I've visited with a new friend, and we had a blast on the beach, running around in bare feet and building sand castles! If only I had photos of that day! We called our sand castle town 'Whistlblue', for no apparent reason. I love the beach so! Met up with my good friend Maria via Skype (we're internet buddies, never met IRL), and last weekend my darling friend Mariah (also a friend of Maria's) got MARRIED of all things in Missouri. Wish I could have been there for your special day, princess! Friends are wonderful things. :-D

So, I'll call the writing quits, and add in some pictures. Hopefully I can do some better E-blogging (minus pictures, I think. Boo.) while I'm at school and TRY to keep you updated. I actually took video footage to post on here, but my camera litterally ate it. It was fine one day, and the next day it was an 'invalid image'. *sigh* So... until next time...

God bless you all!

Hugs in ten-thousand sparkling bubbles,
Sheila

So Sad

2010-03-16T01:29:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

I know it's insanely late at night, but for the past hour I've been watching videos on youtube of those who call themselves believers in Jesus who are basically profaning His name, and it hurts so much to seem my Lord misrepresented. I don't have much to say. I was going to make a witty post and yet here I am, crying out to God. There are so many false witnesses! Dear God, how many are lead astray each day?

Please join me in prayer!!!

In Christ,
Sheila

URL CHANGE!

2010-03-15T10:49:00.001-07:00

Please note!!! This blog NO LONGER exists at the following address: http://www.thepianistshands.blogspot.com/

PLEASE BOOKMARK the new address: http://www.christsinstrument.blogspot.com/

Thank you all!
In Christ,
Sheila

Name change and import!

2010-03-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I've changed the name of this blog to the name of my original blog, as I think it puts more of the focus on Christ, and I've also imported all my posts from my original 'An Instrument in Christ's Hand' blog, and a bunch from 'Always Exploring'. If you go searching for my old blogs, you'll find they don't exist any longer, but all the posts are pages and pages into this blog. I intend to be here to stay!

Also, a heads up, sometime soon I'm going to change the URL of this blog to:

http://www.christsinstrument.blogspot.com/

Yep, that's right, the old blog URL! So just give it a bit so people can figure it out, and it will be changed. Note your bookmarks!

In Christ,
Sheila

In a nutshell: My life right now!

2010-03-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

(The sunrise outside where I live at Bible School)

I know it's been eons since I posted, but really, I have two very good excuses. One is that my diary hasn't been seeing much of me lately either, I've been so busy, and the other is that at school I have no access to internet except email. So here I am on spring break for the next 2 weeks and I decided to pop my head in. :-)

Bible School is wonderful. It's challenging in many ways, I'll give it that, and there are moments when I can't wait to be done, but there are many, many other moments when I'm sad it will end so soon. I'm learning a lot in class, it's a great growing time, and I'm learning even more when it comes to human interaction. God is teaching me so much! In some ways, growing in relationship to Jesus is so very hard, for it leaves you feeling raw and exposed and humbled, but what encompasses all that is that the testing of one's faith produces endurance (James 1:2). I know that endurance is needed for life and Godliness on this crazy planet, and I'm glad that He is willing to work in and through me.

(The student body at my school)

Right now I'm planning on working in Texas this summer at a Bible school come summer camp between the end of May and middle of August, and frankly, it's a crazy plan, but God has crazy plans, and I'm okay with that. :-) In the fall, I intend to come home and work on music again and work, as long as my arms cooperate. I am still struggling with tendonitis from piano last year. I'm not sure what God's will is in all of that yet. I know that I personally really want it all back, but I know my identity is not to be found in my music, or my friends, or where I live, or anything that is not Himself. That's a real challenge to learn, because frankly, I like me, and my things, but the Lord is bigger than all of that. My identity will be found in Him, and the things He chooses to bless my life with will be what He deems right. I'm so glad He's sovereign!

(The water near my school)

So basically, that's my life in a nutshell right now, with all its own challenges and wonders and struggles and blessings!

In Christ,
Sheila

A couple pictures and a mini-update!

2010-02-14T13:09:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!

I'm just at a little coffee shop and I thought I'd give a short update. :-) This past week was our home group study project week, and we all did study projects on various minor prophets and then presented them to our small home groups, and for our party after all our projects were presented, we dressed up 80s-ish and played games. SO FUN! Here we are...

And we got to go visit a school and have fun with a bunch of kids, so here is me with a very sweet little girl that I spent the day with. :-)

Adorable and awesome stuff. :-) Last night a few of us girls got invited over to one of the single staff ladies' houses, and we all chatted and watched the newer Pride and Prejudice, and just had a lovely time. God is amazing to provide all these neat relationships with people around me. I am so happy. There are still daily challenges I deal with, yet God is gracious in helping me to work through them.

Lots of hugs to everyone,
Sheila

Happily blogging from the comfy lecture hall couch!

2010-02-01T18:50:00.001-08:00

Hello friends and neighbours and parents and enemies and whoever else reads this! :-P

GOD IS GOOD! I think I've made that clear, but it's been very evident lately. I have had opportunities to share Christ's light, and moments of great joy, whether happy or not. There are daily challenges. Frankly, I don't like everyone at school, but God has given me the wisdom to be gracious. I fail sometimes, but the forgiveness I receive is such mercy, I am constantly amazed. Plus, I am forming relationships with the people around me. There are people I can casually call 'friends', and that makes me very happy.

This week we are studying Job, and on Thursday I'm going home for mid-term break until Monday, and that will be a welcome break. Plus, I look forward to seeing my family. :-)

Short, but sweet, I hope you all have a wonderful day. I'll try to post again when I'm home.

Hugs!
Sheila

Just a short note and a few pictures!

2010-01-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

Hello all! Here are some pictures from school. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL? :-D Just spending some time at the book nook, which is a little place to get good drinks and get online. I'm in in the choir at Bible School as my outreach, and this morning we sang at the Anglican church. God is answering prayers left right and centre, and I am everyday amazed at His glorious grace. I can't write a long post now, nor do I have a lot to say specifically, except that the Lord is GOOD! :-D

God bless you all,
Sheila

More Bible School-ness!

2010-01-25T16:58:00.001-08:00

Hello friends! I know on the last post it says there should be a picture, and there isn't, and also that post might have been posted twice. Oops! I can't access blogger from Bible School since they have wisely limited the internet access to email, travel sites for booking flights that some people need to get home, and banking, and that's about it! In any case, that's why my blog posting is weird, because I can post to blogger via email, but I haven't worked all the bugs out, and of course, I can't check my blog to see if it worked. I also tried posting pictures this way before, and it worked fine, but now it won't let me. I'll try again in a few days. :-)

In other Bible-School-ish news, am working on my study project for Haggai, and enjoying it very much. It's a lot of work, but it's worth it!!! Maybe I'll post it on here when I've presented it to my fellow students. I've made some friends, or at least people I can talk to, and every day has its ups and downs. God is good though, and through it all, He is teaching me and guiding me in ways I would never have guessed! He wants my total surrender, and I am so glad, because I was failing miserably at trying to run my own life!

I went to a new church on Sunday that was absolutely fabulous. There is someone here who lives about 2 1/2 hours away from that church when he's not at Bible School, and he intends to drive that distance when he goes home, just so he can attend there. It's absolutely TINY, and the attendance topped at about 30 people and the music wasn't that great, but everything was so sincere! I didn't feel like I was at a performance, I felt like I was in a meeting, and that I was part of it, and that we were just a bunch of believers in Christ, gathered to praise His name and give Him glory. That was wonderful! The message was so humbling as well, and really spirit-lead. Awesome stuff.

Anyway, supper is in 45 mins, and I need to be out of here in half an hour to get there on time, and I want to finish my study project in that time!

Hugs all,
Sheila

Posting by Email from Bible School! - Jan 19

2010-01-25T16:40:00.001-08:00

(Note: This was written January 19, I couldn't get it to post from me email because I had the wrong address. I'm new to this email posting thing, but I can't access blogger from Bible School since we have limited internet, so yes. That's the way it is. :-) )

Hello there friends! Above is a picture of my bed here at school, on the first day. It's usually slightly messier. :-) In any case, I thought I'd make a quick update on myself! Sorry for the long delay in posting, but I wasn't able to get to my email, and we can't access much else from school. We've been learning so much! The first week of school we studied Joshua, and last week it was 2 Corinthians and Philippians, which was phenomenal. Joshua was neat because you can see all the amazing parellels between what God did during the time of Joshua's leadership and our walks with Christ now. It's very exciting! Philippians and 2 Corinthians were convicting in different ways. I was very convicted about sacrificial living, suffering, and God's timing. He is so good!

The first week was very difficult, because I came in halfway through the year and everyone else already knew each other, but it's getting better. I don't have any best friends, but that's just as well, because this is a time to focus on Christ, not on people. Letting Him work in my life is what's needed in this time. It's so amazingly freeing to be in total surrender to His will for my life, not to have to figure out what to do or how to run my life. It is amazing.

Class is soon and I want to read my Bible a bit first, so I think I'll go.

God bless you all!
Lots of hugs!
Sheila

--
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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." -Jesus, in Matthew 11:28

www.thepianistshands.blogspot.com

www.windy-covers.blogspot.com

Amazing Quotes

2010-01-04T16:05:00.000-08:00

You are 42% hippie.

You're in the middle, leaning towards the non-hippie side of things, but you're not afraid to try out some hippie philosophies. Good going! An open mind is all a person really needs to lead a happy life.

Are you a hippie?
Take More Quizzes

"They are alive and well somewhere,
The smallest sprout shows there is really no death,
And if ever there was it led forward life, and does not wait at the end to arrest it,
And ceas'd the moment life appear'd.

All goes onward and outward, nothing collapses,
And to die is different from what any one supposed, and luckier."

-Walt Whitman
from Song of Myself, VI

"Too often we pound away at the deficit, rather than building the talent." ~ Temple Grandin in her lecture on autism

"I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"You must look into people as well as at them" ~random fortune cookie

"The flute is the show-off of the wind section, the big shot: Jean-Pierre Rampal, James Galway--both millionaires. (How many millionaire bassoonists can you name real fast?) Well, that's fine. Everybody knows it's the hardest, blowing across a tiny hole with your head tilted all your life: it's like soloing on a pop bottle. The problem with the flute is that it vibrates your brain, and you start wearing big white caftans and smocks and eat roots and berries. You become a pantheist and sit in meadows, and you believe that all is one and God is everything--God is a column of air vibrating--and you know that's not right!" - Garrison Keillor, in The Young Lutheran's Guide to the Orchestra

"When I open my eyes I find myself involuntarily sighing, because what I see around me is so against my religion. I must despise this world which does not understand how music is a higher revelation than all other wisdom or philosophy."

-Ludwig van Beethoven

"Human existence is a puzzling and enigmatic thing." - My Daddy

"Music gives a soul to the universe, Wings to the mind, Flight to the imagination, and Life to everything." Plato

You are 72% hippie.

You have a wide-open mind and you have gone to the hippie toolbox, taken what you needed from it, and built your own beautiful life. You defy stereotypes. Perfect score.

Are you a hippie?
Take More Quizzes

“Life without music is unthinkable, music without life is academic. That is why my contact with music is a total embrace”. Leonard Bernstein

"There is a vitality, a life force, and energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost, the world will not have it." ~ Martha Graham

"And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps." -- H.L. Mencken

The poet Billy Collins once laughingly observed that all babies are born with a knowledge of poetry, because the lub-dub of the mother's heart is in iambic meter. Then, Collins said, life slowly starts to choke the poetry out of us. It may be true with music, too.

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
-- from "Leisure," by W.H. Davies

Of Cold Water and New Things

2010-01-04T12:06:00.000-08:00

Note: For the uninitiated, I am a lifeguard and I work at the local swimming pool lifeguarding, cleaning bathrooms, and best of all, teaching kids how to swim. That's the context here. :-)

This morning, getting into the shower was like being at work. You know, heading out towards the pool with six little munchkins trailing behind me, trying to zip the sticky zipper on my wetsuit, and noting, with dread, that the kids behind me know the answer to "Who goes in first?" which, of course is "Teacher!" With cold dread (literally!) I line up the children on the edge of the pool and crouch down beside them, asking "What do we do first?" and watch them all recite the three safety rules: "Stop!" six little hands make stop signs. "Look!" Six little hands go up to their eyes, and the peer into the water below. "Ask!" and they check with me that all is safe. Then, the dreaded question. "Who goes in first?" "Teacher!"

I paste a grin on my face and slip into the water, lying through my teeth "It's not that bad, hop in!" as I stand on my tippy-toes trying to keep as much of me as possible out of the water. Some of the kids don't heed my instructions and the jump wildly into the water, splashing my nice, dry face. One child sits on the edge, squirming, and snatching quick glimpses into my eyes, trying to somehow hide from me and manage to not get into the water, their toes barely touching its wetness. I smile, and talk to them cheerfully, eventually lifting them off the wall and into the dreaded pit of coldness, their face covered with an expression of terror. I feel like a traitor, making them do that when I don't even want to! Yet, they are all in, and now, so am I, and all I have left to do is get my shoulders and head wet, and then I'll be fine, at least until I come back into the cold pool from the warm one. For now anyway, my students and I will survive the swimming pool's icy clutches.

~~~

That's kind of how I feel today. I thought of it, of course, when trying to get into the shower, for it felt cold and wet and I didn't want to. It was different from the comfortable air I was in before. Tomorrow I'm going to Bible School for the first time. It's going to be different. It's very exciting, and I'm know I'm ready, but it's going to be--metaphorically speaking--very cold. Once I get in all the way, I'm sure I'll get used to it and it won't seem so chilly anymore. I know that from experience, and so do my swimming students.

The awesome thing is that I have a wetsuit! That wetsuit keeps the water from seeming unbearable. God is my wesuit. He will provide for me and comfort me as I jump into the waters of something new. He has a plan laid out, and I don't need to worry. He'll keep me warm, even if it feels kind of cold. I'm so glad I can trust Him.

Lots of hugs,
Sheila

Living the Father's Will

2009-12-30T00:45:00.000-08:00

You know what happens when you find something out about your past that is seemingly irrelevant, but so unexpected that it startles you? It makes you seek God more, because it proves to me that there are things in and around my life right now that I cannot possibly know. The influence I have on people may never be known. It's just a fluke I happened to find this one out, and really, it's not that important, but you know what? It could have been! That really tells me that I need to focus not on what influence I might have on others, but what influence Christ can have through me on others. Isn't that an amazing thought?

The thing is, in order for Christ to influence others through me, I have to be willing to let Him work in my life. I have to be willing to see His will come to fruition in my life. I have to be willing to want whatever He wants, even if I don't feel like wanting it. That's not easy, and honestly, I struggle with it. The only thing I can do is cry out to God.

Through His grace, I can find strength. I know it seems an over-used phrase, but He has given me so much more than I could ever deserve! It's so amazingly true!

God is great. Let Him work in your life today. You never know who's around the corner watching.

In Christ's Life,
Sheila

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

Christmas was absolutely wonderful! Plus that, our dogs were cute the whole time! Funny that, since they always are... Anyway, here are some fun pictures from the past few days, in no particular order!

We had company over last night for Christmas dinner, and so I grabbed the opportunity to get some nice family pictures to put by my bed at Bible School!

My Mum and I always have a ton of fun... notice half of Bunny in the air on the right?

My Mum making faces at the dog while she shivers with excitement over the fact that she's about to be allowed to rip up old wrapping paper. Tee hee!

My Mum with a giftie. :-)

Christmas morning goodies!

Christmas Eve breakfast: Grittibanz! Usually reserved for December 5th which is 'Sammi Claus Tag' in Switzerland, but this year we changed it up a bit.

Christmas Eve dinner: Beleigtebrotli, a family tradition on Christmas Eve, that in Switzerland is a year-round thing. We're a bit crazy, we are!

Me, a present, and a cute puppy dog. Awww, Bunny!

My Mum was very clever, and got me boxes of little things I'll need or want at school, such as tape and rubber bands and tea and soup and a mug, and paper clips, and a nail clipper, and Gravol... yeah, it's fun. :-)

All in all, it was a smashing Christmas. I love my family, and I love the Lord. He is so good!

"Give me ears to hear Your Spirit, Give me feet to follow through, Give me hands to touch the hurting, And the faith to follow You" - 'I Will Go', from Steve Green

Hugs all,

Sheila

Christmastime

2009-12-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

And here I am, to make a post. Finally! I'm so sorry my posting has been so... non-existant. Except for a couple tests posts, that is. See, my internet access will be very lmimited at school, and I wanted to make sure my roundabout ways of email posting and so on actually worked. :-) In any case, on to more exciting things!

First off, my lack of posting hasn't been due to lack of things to post about! It's just I honestly haven't felt like sitting down to do it. So, here's an overview of the last week or so. It's Christmastime! I can't believe yesterday was the first of advent already, it's so wonderful to be celebrating Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love, and all because of our blessed Saviour. He is so amazing.

The tree is well-decorated, and we're enjoying its beauty.

I'm enjoying spending time with my family and hugging them lots and lots, because I won't get to when I'm away. I'll miss them terribly. (This is my Daddy and I)

The night before my Mum's birthday, we went to a local reenactment of Bethlehem the night Christ was born, and it was beautiful. It was the only time we've had any snow at all this year, and it lasted probably a total of 12 hours. But here is me in the line-up, enjoying the falling flakes and feeling Christmas-y!

The morning of my Mum's birthday (you can see the remnant of snow outside), she came out to find that I had covered the livingroom floor with balloons! She really enjoyed that. I had also stayed up until 1:40am the night before, baking a birthday cake for her!

Thursday was my last day of work, and I enjoyed it a lot. The children are such a joy, and I will really miss them. I'm so glad for those opportunities.

And now I'm going to go listen to more lectures for Bible School, and do a bit of reading in Isaiah. Who knows, maybe some crocheting is in order?

Hugs,

Sheila

God

2009-12-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

I will write a longer and more picture-riddled post later, but I decided just to pop by and say that I really do have fingers, and I really still can type. :-) It's the third Sunday of Advent which is more than hard to believe. I'm enjoying the Christmas season so very much, it's such a blessing to be here with my family, celebrating Jesus coming to earth as a baby. It's mind boggling. Do me a favour today, and really think about the absolute immensity of the fact that God became a baby so that we could be saved from eternal damnation that is inevitable for us as sinners and people who do things that are wrong.

God is good.

Elohim, mighty, and powerful, with such triplicity,

Jehovah, Holy God,

El Shaddai, strong and above all,

Emmanuel, God with us,

Adonai, my Master,

Praise be!

An Instrument in Christ's Hands

Blustery Oceans and Open Fields

Joy and Repentance

I Giggle, and Dance, and Laugh

Snowflakes on my Eyelashes

St. Patrick's Breastplate

A Crazy Fool

Christmas!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. -Isaiah 9:6

-Sheila

Life Clutter

I Have a Nose

Christmas Baking Begins! All in 2 weeks work...

Do Not Worry; a list and a thought

Another Experience

Birth... Mesmerizing Me.

Satisfaction in Christ?

A Girl's Day

Banana Bread and Apple-y Goodness

I am a Street Lamp

Circles and Squares and Trust

Thanksgiving 2011

Breakfast Cookies

Directions

Daughterhood Today

Childhood in Grown-up-ness

180 Movie

Here I Am

The Day I Didn't Get Married

Sushi in Vancouver

Vancouver: A journey of observation

My Post of Submission

Original Emery Circle Oatmeal Cookies

Rest

Unknown.

Sushi!

Time

Switzerland

Family and Creation Beaty

The Craft Lady

A Disaster for Today

A New Era -- my life this coming year

Ginger Pudding

Moments... Each from Him

A Wildberry Tart Life

A Broken Heart

A Full Heart

He is Risen!

Overwhelming... joy.

White and Purple

Joy, Baking, and all-day PJs

Feminism vs. Femininity

Just a Little Life

A Dream for Today

Natural Birth 101: Birth-y Words

Natural Birth 101: An Introduction to Natural Birth

Gratituesday: Thank You, Jesus.

Today I Was a Child

Christ is Sufficient

One Month Recap!

Tarrah!

A Rose, One Day...

The weeks fly by

Freewrite #1 - "About Sheila"

Babies and Neurons

Christmas... the Birth of a King

Many words that begin with 'B' and other interesting things...

Bellies and Babies... so perfect.

That Flinger of the Stars!

Oh Biology...

What Biology, Apple Crisp, Laundry, and Babies Have in Common!

Starting out Fresh

A New Adventure!

An Amusing Look at Me and ADD

His Great Grandeur Shown

Home

I'm alive and kicking!

Hello World!

Texas!!!

A quick update...

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
-Isaiah 9:6