More About Sheila

NOTE:  This is written at the end of my teenage years - things have changed, life has grown.  But there's still a ring of truth and it's sweet, so I'm leaving this as a little history.  ;-)

My name is Sheila Christine.  "Blind Christ-follower".  Oh yes, and so much blinder than I once thought, yet I serve a great Guide and King, Jesus Christ, and I desire to be led by His eyes alone, for He is sovereign.  In a nutshell, that is who I am, but really... who am I?

Well, I run through fields in my bare feet, make buttercup chains, and watch the clouds go by.  I pick wildflowers and pin them into my hair.  I frequent thrift shops, up-cycle old clothes,  and delight in the wonders of herb gardens and compost.  I wear jeans and t-shirts, ruffled sleeves and flowing skirts, and lacy, cute, shabby, random, colourful, random clothing.  I stare into horses' eyes, linger over shallow beach pools, save bugs and worms, and let crabs crawl up my arms.  I delight big church bells and cross-cultural food, pretty earrings and collages, great music and books.  My desk must be organized for sanity's sake, but not organized to death, I must leave on time, but if I'm too early I'll wait in the car.

But... who am I?  I think all of us come to a place in life where we realize that we may never really know who we are, at least that's where I'm at.  I know I'm quirky, and different, and that I love to climb trees and rocks and dip my toes into the sea and dream of all the places that the water has been.  I find myself, at times, torn between my three citizenships: Canada, Switzerland, and Heaven.  It is hard to choose where to reside, yet I realize that this life is temporary, and I must not waste it on pointless dreams, but on prayers, and on dreams of living life according to the plan of God.  I must clarify; I am quite certain that life on this earth will not be easy, but it will be joyous, if I am within His will.

It's exciting, really, to have no idea what God's plan is, but to be utterly, without a doubt, completely certain that it is perfect.  To know that if I seek Him my life will be according to that plan seems to provide a simple answer: seek God.  Yet daily it seems I reject this simple solution.  Why?  Because I am fallen.  I need God.  I need salvation.  Yet I have it!  And so, having that great grace in my life, I strive to live in a manner that honours Jesus.

Music teaching is somewhat of an exciting task, a challenge I'm up for, to bring piano, flute, and voice--instruments I studied for years--to life in a child's own existence.  When I play myself, I find my creativity often stifled by years of unintended poking by well-meaning teachers of my own, and I consciously choose not to sub-consciously poke my unsuspecting students.  I give them the gift of music from a wounded soul, so that they might, in turn, heal me.

Childbirth, though I have not personally experienced it, is not foreign to me in the slightest--I've spent years studying it on my own time.  My own terrible birth led me to explore if there were answers, and I am now a passionate advocate for natural birth.  I consider it a privilege to be a doula, nurturing mothers and those they love on their journey of growth and their own birth as families.  Birth is beautiful.  The blood is precious.  The life and joy and pain and wonder is indescribable, unexplainable, incomprehensible, and I cannot believe that I have been given the gift of experiencing those moments with others so many times already, and more to come.

And the rest?  You'll have to read my blog.  You know where that is, right?  No?  Here.  ;-)

No comments: